I Cheat To Stay

There’d be no us if I didn’t cheat.

Photo by Roxane Clediere on Unsplash

“God, I’m so horny…give me your hand.” It was a bright August morning. I’d woken horny. I needed to be touched.

“I’ll do the work.”

The bed shifted.

The door closed before I opened my eyes.

I was alone.

It didn’t open again until I left the room.

It was humiliating.

I didn’t need anything else, just a hand. It had been three years since I’d asked for sex. Any sort of sex. Sexual touching. A touch.

And I couldn’t even get a fucking hand.

I felt worthless.

“Are we ever going to have sex again?” I asked later, knowing the answer.

“Someday,” he said, quickly walking away.

Someday was never.

When we were young, we never spoke about sex; we just fucked. Neither of us was skilled, but we had enough passion to carry us through.

When we met in our…