If You’re Not Laughing During Sex, You’re Doing It Wrong
The fascinating reasons why.
If you’ve ever had an unexpected snort or giggle slip out during the “big moment” then you might just be onto the secret sauce of fantastic sex.
In our pursuit of pleasure, we often forget to stop and laugh. This overlooked ingredient, humor, can transform our sexual experiences and relationships in incredible — often hilarious — ways.
This is why you should laugh-bang-repeat.
The Often Overlooked Role of Humor in Sexual Intimacy
When discussing sexual intimacy, our minds typically conjure images of passionate embraces and steamy moments. But how often do we associate sex with laughter or humor?
Not nearly enough.
Let’s debunk the myth that sex must always be serious and discover how humor can enhance our sexual experiences.
1. Breaking the Ice
Sex is a shared experience full of vulnerable moments.
We’re baring ourselves both physically and emotionally. Sometimes, things may not go as expected — maybe there’s an accidental elbow jab, a slip under the sheets, or a bodily sound at just the “wrong” moment.
It’s in these situations that laughter comes to the rescue, breaking the ice and making both partners feel more at ease.
The willingness to laugh at our blunders can make the whole experience more enjoyable and much less stressful. Stripped to the basics of anatomy and thrusting/griding, sex is pretty awkward.
But beautifully awkward, if you ask me.
2. Deepening Connection
Laughter is one of the most sincere expressions of joy.
When we share a laugh during sex, it transcends the physical act. It’s a moment of mutual acknowledgment, an exchange that says, “I see you, I’m with you, and I embrace our shared humanity.”
This shared humor deepens our connection with our partner, making the intimacy even more fulfilling.
3. Enhancing Communication
Conversations about sexual desires or boundaries can sometimes feel heavy.
But humor offers a gentle approach to discussing these important issues.
Jokes or light-hearted banter can initiate conversations about preferences or discomforts, setting the stage for more open and honest communication.
The Science Behind Laughing and Lovemaking
Science has consistently backed the relationship between laughter and a sense of well-being.
Researchers have turned their attention to the role of humor in sexual satisfaction. Their findings? Couples who frequently laugh together during sex report higher levels of sexual satisfaction.
For example, a 2018 study published in the Journal of Research in Personality.
According to an article by Liesl Goecker, the author of the research study, (Kay Brauer) made this statement:
Women [who enjoyed provoking others to laugh at their expense] reported more often that they tended to be satisfied with their relationship and felt more attracted to their partner. They and their partners also tended to be equally satisfied with their sex life.
It turns out laughter releases oxytocin, the so-called “love hormone,” which fosters trust, relaxation, and emotional bonding.
Practical Ways to Bring Humor into the Bedroom
While the idea of blending humor with intimacy may sound appealing, knowing how to integrate it naturally is crucial.
Humor should enhance the experience rather than overshadow it.
There’s little sexy about a guffawing buffoon.
Sex is serious — but it can also be silly (at least, sometimes).
Here are some practical ways to infuse laughter into your intimate moments:
- Stay Playful — Keep a playful demeanor. Remember, sex is as much about enjoying the journey as it is about the destination. Engage in light teasing, share playful looks, or introduce tickling games to keep the mood light and relaxed. An element of surprise, like a cheeky wink or playful nudge, can also add a playful dimension.
- Embrace the Unexpected — Inevitably, things may not always go as planned in the bedroom. Whether it’s the bed making an unexpected noise, getting tangled in the sheets, or facing a sudden interruption, instead of feeling mortified, share a laugh with your partner. Taking these moments in stride can help reduce performance anxiety and keep the experience positive.
- Communicate with Humor — When discussing your desires, preferences, or any anxieties, humor can be a great icebreaker. A light-hearted joke can ease into a deeper conversation. For example, if you’re feeling nervous about trying something new, saying something like, “I might not be a pro at this, but I promise I’ll get an A for effort!” can be a way to acknowledge the situation humorously.
- Introduce Fun Props — Consider introducing playful props or games. This doesn’t necessarily mean jumping straight to novelty items (unless that’s your thing), but simple additions like a feather or a fun card game designed for couples can add an element of surprise and humor.
- Watch a Comedy Together — Before getting intimate, consider watching a short comedy clip or sharing a funny story. Shared laughter can set a relaxed tone and act as a great segue into more intimate activities.
- Revisit Shared Funny Moments — If you and your partner have shared funny moments during past intimate times, occasionally referencing them can bring back the laughter. It’s a personal inside joke, reminding both of you of the bond you share.
Final Thoughts
Humor has a place in the bedroom.
It’s high time we give it space to work its magic between the sheets. I, for one, enjoy a good belly laugh every now and then.
