Leave. But Don’t Leave Me.

My parents’ endless dance for 30 years.

Eva Grape
Heart Affairs
Published in
6 min readMay 9, 2024


AI-generated image via MidJourney.

Growing older, I have started to understand my mother better.

Admittedly, I am afraid of turning into her, yet knowing I am equipped with more knowledge and self-awareness, which may increase my chances of making better choices during similar life events.

I believe that we can all learn a great deal from our parents, as all of them can teach us something at certain points in time if we are wise enough to see it or hear it. And I’ve seen it.

The reflection I’m doing in this piece regards my mother’s lifelong relationship with this man with whom she has been in various formats throughout my life and who will probably continue to be around forever, against anything else she might say.

Echoes of the Past

When I was three years old, I remember my mother’s boyfriend hanging out around my grandparents’ house, where my mother, grandparents, and two brothers lived.

Granted, I don’t remember much, but as a small child, I looked for fatherly faces in all the men around me, hoping to find the one who would unconditionally accept me and love me as his own. Sadly, I still do that today, well into my 30s, but that’s a different story.