Love or Grooming? The Dark Side of My May-December Marriage.

Your twenties will never come back, so better read this one.

Eva Grape
Heart Affairs
Published in
5 min readMar 31, 2024


AI-generated image via MidJourney.

Have you ever fallen for someone much older or younger than you? If so, this story is for you.

Love doesn't look at birthdates. However, it's hard not to lose yourself if you're not too careful.

And who can be careful when they're young and infatuated and Prince Charming embodies maturity and stability, a man who carries himself with the confidence of a well-put-together life—organized, financially secure, and seemingly in control of his destiny?

I fell into this trap, so I must share my experience with falling for someone older, and how I missed my twenties, which I will never get back, so you don’t make the same mistake.

When I was 18, I started seeing an older guy, and eventually, after almost a decade of being in a committed relationship, we got married. I had no clue there was a term for this—"grooming."

Since English isn't my first language, I always thought grooming was about preparing someone for a leadership job or something job-related. So when my husband mentioned this concept recently to us, I was surprised to learn its other meaning.