Rachel Bilson’s Orgasm Confession Unmasks a Massive Sex Problem

Her confession and what it means for all of us.

Christopher Kokoski
Heart Affairs
Published in
5 min readMay 4, 2023

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Cute cartoon woman that looks similar to Rachel Bilson — Rachel Bilson’s Orgasm Confession Unmasks a Massive Sex Problem
Image by the Author using DALL-E and Canva

Rachel Bilson, a celebrated actress, and podcaster, recently opened up about a personal, intimate subject, exposing a significant shortcoming in our society’s sexual education.

Her revelations have sparked widespread conversations on the importance of sex ed — particularly for young women — and the dire need for improvements in this field.

Here is her confession and what it means for all of us.

The Revelation That Shocked Many

The candid conversation started when Bilson, on her podcast (Women On Top), mentioned that she experienced her first orgasm at the age of 38.

The reason?

She admitted she didn’t fully understand her own body. The 38-year-old actress’s confession surprised many but also resonated with countless women worldwide who have had similar experiences due to a lack of proper sexual education.

“The most common form of despair is not being who you are.” — Soren Kierkegaard

Much like the philosopher Kierkegaard pointed out, not fully understanding oneself, even in terms of physicality and sexuality, can lead to a sense of despair or inadequacy.

And Bilson’s revelation is a stark reminder of the number of women who may be experiencing this despair without even realizing its source.

Another interesting note is that Bilson was raised by a sex therapist.

I don’t know what that says but it certainly says something.

A Clear Indication of the Sex Ed Gap

Bilson’s admission unearths a pressing concern: the significant gap in sexual education, especially for young women.

It’s not just about knowing the biological processes or understanding the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. It’s about understanding and embracing one’s sexuality, knowing one’s body, and the ability to communicate about it.

In Bilson’s own words (as reported by People.com):

I like missionary. I’ve learned that if you want to have an orgasm during sex, you have to be on top. But missionary is my favorite. I want to be f — -ing manhandled.

I hear you, Bilson. I hear you.

The Need for Comprehensive Sex Education

Sex education should be comprehensive, inclusive, and, most importantly, it should empower young individuals.

It must include discussions around sexual pleasure, consent, and communication. This will equip them with the knowledge they need to have healthy and satisfying sexual relationships.

“Knowledge is power. Information is liberating. Education is the premise of progress, in every society, in every family.” — Kofi Annan

Former UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan’s words hold true, especially in the context of sex education.

The more we educate, the more we empower.

The Impact of Rachel Bilson’s Confession

Bilson’s confession has sparked an essential conversation about the importance of sexual education.

It’s a reminder that we have a long way to go in providing comprehensive sex education to all individuals, regardless of gender.

The actress’s courage to speak out about her own experiences has highlighted the urgent need for change in how we approach and deliver sex education. It has created a wave of awareness and dialogue about a topic that is often overlooked or pushed under the rug due to societal norms and stigma.

You can see this from how her comments are received.

Some say she is just the latest example of celebrity TMI (too much information). Others call her sex revelations “vanilla.” I don’t see the point in judging sexual preferences, as long as they are legal and consensual.

And vanilla is one of the most popular flavors for a reason 😉.

Discovering Yourself: A Guide to Body and Self-Awareness

Self-awareness and body knowledge are fundamental aspects of personal development, yet they are often overlooked in traditional education.

This neglect can lead to individuals growing up without a comprehensive understanding of their own bodies, as was the case with Rachel Bilson.

Let’s go over some steps to rectify this gap and foster a better understanding of yourself and your body.

Embrace the Master Design of Your Artistic Body

First and foremost, it’s important to understand and accept that every body is unique.

There is no “normal” or “ideal” body, and each one is beautiful in its own way. Spend time with your body, look at yourself in the mirror, and embrace your uniqueness.

Be Your Own Sex Guru

Knowledge is power.

Reading books, watching educational videos, or attending workshops about human anatomy and sexuality can help dispel myths and misconceptions.

A clear understanding of your body’s function and structure can enhance your appreciation for it and help you recognize when something feels different or wrong.

Mindful Touch and Exploration

Mindful self-touch is a powerful way to get to know your body.

It allows you to understand what feels good and what doesn’t, promoting a more profound connection with your body. However, ensure that these explorations are done in a safe, private, and non-judgmental space.

Meditation and Mindfulness

Meditation and mindfulness exercises can help you connect with your body on a deeper level.

They allow you to focus on your breath, the sensations in your body, and the present moment, fostering a stronger connection between your mind and body.

Seek Out a Sexpert

Professionals like therapists or sexual health educators can provide valuable guidance and resources. They can help answer questions you may have and provide a safe space for discussions about your body and sexuality.

Open Conversations and Communication

Talking openly about your body and your experiences can be liberating.

Whether it’s with friends, partners, or support groups, these conversations can help you feel less alone and more connected to your own experiences.

Getting to know yourself and your body is a personal journey, and it’s different for everyone. It takes time, patience, and a willingness to explore and question societal norms and expectations.

But the result — a deeper understanding of your body and your sexuality — can lead to more fulfilling relationships with others and, most importantly, with yourself.

Remember, the journey toward self-discovery and body awareness is not a race, but a lifelong process of gradual revelation.

Looking Forward: A Call for Change

While it’s disheartening to realize the extent of the gap in sexual education, it’s also an opportunity to make significant changes.

It’s a call to action for educators, parents, and society at large to ensure that young people receive comprehensive sex education.

As we reflect on Bilson’s revelation and the resulting conversations, let’s make it our mission to work towards creating a society where no woman has to wait until her late 30s to understand her body and her sexuality fully.

Let’s ensure that our young people grow up with knowledge, power, and confidence in their own bodies.

Final Thoughts

The thought of how many other Rachel Bilsons might be out there, unaware of their own bodies, is a sobering one.

But it can also be a catalyst for change.

We can use this moment as a stepping stone towards a future where every individual is equipped with the understanding of their sexuality and body, enabling them to lead happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.

As you get to know your body and your sexual self, you might want to learn about The Ultimate Orgasm Hack: Triggering “Forced” Explosions of Pleasure.

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Christopher Kokoski
Heart Affairs

Endlessly curious| proud word nerd| Don’t miss my next article — sign up to my Medium email list: https://bit.ly/3yy18Bc