7 Ways to Know If a Man Is Playing You

7 ways to spot a player.

Samy sky-Love & Wellness
Heart Affairs
Published in
5 min readJun 30, 2024

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Photo by taylor hernandez on Unsplash

So how do you know if a man is playing you? Many ladies are questioning if that special guy is the real deal or just stringing them along. This scary thought makes the dating pool feel like a minefield. It’s not easy to find quality men, but here are five ways to know if he’s more of a player than a keeper.

Remember this: the right guy will never make you feel like you’re in a guessing game.

1. Inconsistent Communication

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Ever feel like you’re on a rollercoaster ride with his texts and calls? One day he’s blowing up your phone, the next day it’s radio silence. This hot-and-cold behavior is a classic sign he’s playing games.

A man interested in you will keep the lines of communication open and steady. If he’s all over the place, he might be juggling more than just his schedule.

2. You’ve Never Met His Friends or Family

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A big red flag is if you’re still a ghost to his inner circle. If he’s serious about you, then he’ll want to introduce you to his friends and family. But if you’re always kept at arm’s length, he might be hiding something — or someone. When you’re important to him, he’ll make sure you’re a part of his world.

3. He’s Always Busy

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We all have busy lives, but if he’s constantly “too busy” to see you or make plans, it’s a sign he’s not prioritizing you.

A man who’s into you will make time for you, no matter how packed his schedule is. If he’s always got an excuse, he’s probably not as committed as you are.

4. He’s Full of Broken Promises

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Promises, promises. If he’s always making promises he doesn’t keep, that’s a red flag waving right in your face. Whether it’s about calling you back, making plans, or changing his behavior, if he never follows through, it’s time to take a step back.

Actions speak louder than words, and a man who truly cares will show it through his actions. Men can do anything for the woman they love. But If he keeps breaking promises, even when they’re important to you, then he’s probably playing you.

5. He’s Flirting with Other Women

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Nothing stings more than seeing your guy get cozy with other women. If he’s constantly flirting or getting a bit too friendly with other ladies, it’s a major red flag. A man who’s serious about you will respect your relationship and keep his interactions with other women appropriate.

If he’s always looking for attention elsewhere, he’s not fully committed to you.

6. He’s Unreliable

Does he often cancel plans at the last minute or show up late without a good reason? If he’s not respecting your time, he’s showing you that you’re not a priority.

Reliability is key in any relationship, and if he’s consistently letting you down, he’s likely not interested in you.

7. He’s Secretive About His Life

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A man who’s genuinely interested in you will want to share his life and experiences with you. If he’s always keeping his plans, friends, and activities a secret, it’s a sign he’s hiding something.

Transparency is crucial in a healthy relationship. If he’s always dodging questions or being vague about his whereabouts, he might be playing games.

Bonus Points

8. He Avoids Deep Conversations.

Every time you try to have a meaningful conversation about your relationship or feelings, does he change the subject or make a joke? This avoidance can indicate he’s not looking for anything serious.

A man who’s truly interested in you will be willing to engage in deep, sometimes uncomfortable, conversations because he cares about your feelings and the future of the relationship.

9. He Gives Mixed Signals

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One minute he’s all over you, declaring his affection, and the next he’s distant and aloof. These mixed signals can leave you feeling confused and insecure.

Consistency is key in a relationship. If he’s making you doubt where you stand, it’s a strong indication he’s not being genuine.

When a man gives mixed feelings, most of the time it’s probably a “no feeling.” The right man will never make you feel like you’re in a guessing game.

In summary, Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is. Actions speak louder than words. If a man’s behavior includes any of these red flags, it’s time to reassess the relationship.

Don’t ignore these signs. You deserve someone who’s all in, not a part-time lover.

When you get that “Man of your dreams,” Its a good idea to learn to keep him, and make the relationship fulfilling. Everything that’ll succeed needs work and knowledge, relationships are no different. So, If you want your current (or next) relationship not to end up like the last one, Get this online course on The 6 essential (but lesser-known) pillars every relationship needs to thrive. Click here to change your life.

Stay strong.

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Samy sky-Love & Wellness
Heart Affairs

Learning never ends, so I love learning and sharing the knowledge that I have throughout my journey. Support me on https://buymeacoffee.com/kingsamy