The Breadcrumbing Trap or What My Emotional Affair Taught Me.

“Breadcrumbing is when you give an individual just enough morsels of attention to keep them interested or hooked into the relationship (or situation), without any intention of really committing.”

Eva Grape
Heart Affairs
Published in
4 min readFeb 14, 2024


This has been going on for years. It started as work stuff, turned into a friendship, and then somehow, we ended up in this emotional thing online. I’m married, and he could be my dad age-wise. It’s impossible for real, but online, we just click.

I’ve always admired him.

He’s got this low-key charm that gets to you. When we met, he was in his late 40s, confident but not intimidating, and just really warm. His grey hair and the laugh lines around his eyes showed a guy who’s lived a good life. He always looked sharp, but never too much.

His brain is as good as he looks.

He’s quick, makes everything interesting, and knows a lot about pretty much everything. He talks clearly, listens like he cares, and is funny in a smart way. He’s got this humble vibe despite being so accomplished, always keen to learn more about everything. He makes complicated stuff simple and fun. Whether it’s fixing work issues or talking about books…