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The Men Who Rewired Me
Eight unknowingly impactful men.
He thundered into my life with a flash and a bang.
A Zeus-of-sorts.
My marriage at that time was limping along on a failing system, and when this man blew onto the scene, the magnetic electricity I felt with him drained away any energy I had left to keep my marriage running. The frayed connection between my then-husband and me sputtered and went dark.
Before this Zeus-of-sorts arrived, self-doubt often clouded my thinking, but his presence changed that. He flipped a switch in me, shining a harsh light on the truth of my marriage and the state of my mind.
That my marriage may have existed on paper, but not in practice.
That the marital tension I carried around daily, in knotted shoulders and a balled-up gut, was never going to loosen up and leave my body until I physically left too.
That somewhere, somehow, my brain was wired to believe certain things about myself.
That I wasn’t worth it. Wasn’t lovable. Wasn’t touchable.
That my opinions were wrong.
That I didn’t matter.
Was it my then-husband who instilled these beliefs, or were they the result of how I interpreted his dismissive and deflective…
