Member-only story
What Midlife Women Want in Men
We know what we want — and it’s not asking too much.
“The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn.” — Gloria Steinem
Years ago, my girlfriends and I relished the quiet hours when we’d steal away from our male friends to sit beneath the stars with a drink and embark on deep, meaningful conversations. When the time was right, one of us would turn to the other with a low husk: “D&M?” (Deep and Meaningful). Of course. Who could turn down an excellent girly yarn?
It seems like a lifetime ago.
As eighteen-year-olds, we did this frequently. Girls need other girls. We need to talk and know someone hears and sees us. There is nothing like a trustworthy girlfriend’s ear. We’re good at it, too. It’s like soul and heart therapy wrapped in a unique friendship bow. Back then, boys and relationships dominated the conversation, sometimes Michael Hutchence, the star of my teenage dreams. Heart on a burning flame.
Oh, excuse me …
I don’t see my old friends too often nowadays. We are a far cry from those Michael Hutchence, lovesick girls who shared everything and cried together over the most trivial things (okay, the bourbon and beer may have played a part in that bit).
Life happens. Sexy rock stars die too young, and lone strands of unruly hair appear where they never did. But now and then, I can snatch a few beautiful hours with my friends to connect and catch up.
Women need other women.
We must share deep secrets and absurd thoughts with someone who understands us. Throughout my life, my sisters have provided most of my emotional strength. We give each other an outlet when most needed.
While conversations have evolved, our bonds have strengthened. And yes, men still find their way into our discussions. During one of these get-togethers, I asked my friends what midlife women want in a man.
Want to know what we found out?
Here are the four most prevailing qualities offered by these beautiful midlife women:
