What We Can Learn From First Dates
About our dates, but more importantly, about ourselves.
When you start to enforce boundaries, dating becomes decidedly harder. I’m fine with that. It has taken me seven years to figure out how to enforce my boundaries. This lesson has come with a cost, but one that is worth it.
When I first became single in 2017, I looked at each first date filled with hope and optimism. Looking back at that now, I see that naive mistake and have paid for it over the last several years.
The mistake I made was putting my boundaries aside in the hope of making my date feel comfortable. Here is a lesson for you dating folks out there — compromising boundaries is NEVER ok.
When I met someone online, whether it was Match, Bumble, EHarmony, or Hinge, my first date routine was to only commit to one thing with a definitive end time. A coffee date. A drink. Maybe a dinner if we had really good conversations, but most often nothing more than a one-hour commitment.
Trouble came with men whom I met who lived far away. I met a man on Match who lived in CT but had property near Cape Cod. So, since he had driven from a distance, I agreed to his request for a walk at Heritage Gardens in Sandwich and lunch at Fisherman’s Wharf in Sandwich so we would have more time to get to know…
