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Why Iron Man Is a Problem For Victims of Narcissistic Abuse

No, Tony Stark is not a narcissist.

Kara Summers
Heart Affairs
Published in
9 min readAug 19, 2021
Photo Credit: Chris Doornbos

He is a hero and sometimes also a little bit villain. He is handsome, charismatic, highly intelligent, and successful. He is Tony Stark. He is Iron Man. If you are female and enjoy Marvel, why wouldn’t you fantasize about dating him? Or someone like him.

Of course, he is a fictional character, but men like him do exist. I am not talking about his strength or super-brain, I mean his character. We come across them every day in the real world. We find them on dating sites, at work, we see them in reality TV Shows, we see them dating our friends.

Or do we?

Textbook Narcissism

In Iron Man 2, Fury reads out a character assessment of Tony Stark that Natasha Romanoff has done. It reads:

“Personality overview. Mr Stark displays compulsive behaviour.” ... “Prone to self-destructive tendencies.” …. “Textbook narcissism”

To the last assessment, Tony Stark simply responds: “Agreed”.

So Tony Stark is a textbook example of a narcissist?

If you search the internet for a character assessment you might find similar statements. Cinema Therapy who psychologically assess movie characters even state: “Tony Stark absolutely qualifies for narcissistic personality disorder”. They then go on analyzing the scenes in which he displays egocentric behaviors or his obsession with power and belief that he is above everybody else.

The scenes they identify indeed show Tony Stark displaying some of the behaviors identified by The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5, 2013) as qualifying for NPD:

  • A grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g. exaggerates achievements and talents, expecting to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
  • Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
  • Believing that they are “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
  • Requiring excessive admiration

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Kara Summers
Kara Summers

Written by Kara Summers

Author, Mindset Coach, Feminist, Abuse Survivor, Stronger than ever

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