Member-only story
Why Some People Cheat and the Possibility of Something Different
Is infidelity inevitable? Or is there a new way to think about love?
Guess which country has the highest rates of infidelity (in 2025)?
It surprised me too.
Close behind them are Denmark, Germany, Italy, France, Norway, Belgium, Spain, the United Kingdom, and Canada. In that order.
It’s a global phenomenon that’s as old as time.
But what causes people to look outside their marriage for sex? What drives people to be so secretive, imaginative, and deceitful?
According to Esther Perel, her research found that one recurring theme links pretty much all cases: a feeling of aliveness.
Maybe it was more alive than before, or maybe it was feeling alive for the first time in years. Whatever it may be, once it’s awakened, it’s hard to resist.
Insights like this suggest that long term relationships become dead or stale over time. Some even become sexless.
But sex doesn’t seem to be the biggest driving factor here; it’s more a sense of autonomy, adventure, and thrill. A buzz that has long been forgotten.
