Why Toxic, Patriarchal Men Become Enraged When They’re Ghosted
Getting cut off deprives them of control and because they see you as a possession, they can’t handle it.
I vividly remember listening to my dad lecture me on how my mom was entirely at fault in the divorce. Dad drove because he liked being in control. The periodic flashes of oncoming traffic illuminated his face in a way that was both ominous and threatening.
“Your mother’s family was highly dysfunctional,” he explained using the same lawyer voice that he employed during a trial’s closing arguments. With his right hand, he made theatrical gestures. He snapped out his index finger like an exposed blade.
His body language and his tone of voice projected calm rationality, but the atmosphere was thick with threat.
His left hand caressed the wheel, and I understood, if provoked, that he had the power to drive us straight into oncoming traffic.
He offered a succession of points without allowing me any opportunity to retort. When he finished, he turned and looked at me in triumph as if only a fool or a lunatic could fail to see his logic.
“But,” I said haltingly, “almost everyone in your family has gotten divorced at least once. Anyone can see that…
