The Power of Play: A Vital Path to Learning, Growth, and Resilience

Heart & Work Series
Heart & Work of Parenting
6 min readFeb 2, 2024
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by Kat Scherer, PhD.

Why Play?

If you reflect on your childhood, your most cherished memories probably revolve around play. Whether it’s running on the playground with friends, singing and dancing, or climbing a tree, playtime is intimately connected to feelings of joy. These straightforward and enjoyable activities set the stage for healthy child development and a strong parent-child attachment.

Play encompasses stimulation, novelty, and fun — irresistible qualities that naturally bring children into connection with adults. Child development experts caution against dismissing play as mere childishness. Engaging play goes beyond fun and games — it’s a potent tool for growth, learning, and healing. When children play, it’s not just about having a good time; they’re also actively developing crucial life skills.

Pediatricians, Teachers, & Therapists on Play

Pediatricians encourage parents to infuse more play into their children’s lives. In a world often dominated by structure and academic pressures, they emphasize the importance of preserving playfulness. Taking it a step further, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends doctors ‘prescribe play,’ underscoring its pivotal role in nurturing a well-rounded, resilient, and thriving child.

Furthermore, educators, alongside physical, occupational, and mental health therapists, have long recognized the profound impact of play on learning, healing, and growth. Their wealth of experience reinforces the fundamental truth: children learn best through play.

Elements of Play

Scientific studies outline six crucial elements of growth-oriented play.

  1. Self-chosen: Play is voluntary and freely chosen
  2. Self-directed: The child takes the lead, driving and motivating the experience
  3. Pleasurable: An enjoyable activity that creates delightful moments
  4. Spontaneous: Unscripted and open to impulsive changes
  5. Imaginative: Involves creative exploration beyond real-world limits
  6. Adventurous: Encourages some risk-taking, creating opportunities for new learning

Wondering how to put these rules into action with children? Adult-child fun becomes a platform for beneficial play when children take the lead, make decisions, and embrace spontaneity. Focus on the child’s experience, encouraging exploration of emotions and curiosities without fixating on outcomes. Let children fully immerse themselves in the moment, ensuring that while they shape the game, it’s enjoyable for parents too.

The roots of playfulness sprout early; even infants respond to interactions with their family, whether it’s singing songs, gentle rocking, or vigorous movement. Simple engagements like eye contact, smiles, or vocalizations capture the attention of newborns, laying the foundation for essential connection, trust and reciprocal play. Through these seemingly ordinary yet meaningful interactions, play begins.

Social-Emotional Benefits of Play

In the realm of play, children learn about themselves and others. Play serves as a dynamic training ground for trying new things — from running and jumping to planning and strategizing. Children discover their inborn talents and their likes and dislikes. Embracing new challenges with a blend of fun and calculated risks provides them with fresh opportunities to deepen self-awareness and bolster confidence.

Engaging in positive play with others reinforces children’s desire to connect with peers. Laughter and fun create lightness and bring healing powers. Harmonious play acts as a shield against negativity and stress. Importantly, when parents play with children, it acts as a stress-relief valve, serving as an antidote to the challenges of adversity.

Shared play opens up learning opportunities to navigate differences, like negotiating rules for a game. Mutual play demands that children pay attention, actively listen, and regulate their emotions to work through their conflicts. In cooperative play, children master the balance of asserting boundaries while maintaining patience and understanding with their playmates.

The lessons learned from play go beyond victories; they include resilience gained by steering through failures, trying again, or moving on. Some challenges might overwhelm children. If they appear stuck in negativity or distraught, adults can offer support and guidance to assist them in exploring potential solutions.

Physical & Intellectual Growth

Beyond its social-emotional benefits, play fosters the development of physical and intellectual abilities. Creative, fun activities enhance bodily strength, endurance, coordination, and flexibility. In the realm of play, children refine bodily awareness (proprioception & interoception) which research suggests plays a pivotal role in fostering emotional intelligence and resilience. Enjoyable activities like running, jumping, or catching a ball engage coordination and problem-solving skills.

The American Academy of Pediatrics emphasizes the significance of play in brain development, influencing executive functions like attention and planning. Playtime sparks intellectual curiosity, igniting the natural drive to learn. For instance, children playing ‘grocery store’ utilize math and problem-solving skills. Balancing blocks or running on the playground demands planning and coordination. And, creating a restaurant requires literacy skills. In essence, play becomes a fun avenue for learning.

Cost of Missing Out on Play

Despite its many benefits, free play has declined in recent years, a casualty of the swift pace of modern life and an increase of structured activities. Profound consequences are observed as children miss out on enriching and exploratory play that fosters spontaneous delight.

The repercussions of a play-deprived childhood extend far beyond the immediate, impacting long-term well-being. The absence of fun social interactions hinders social development and allows stress to accumulate. Without play, opportunities to connect, learn, and experiment are curtailed, stifling creativity and restricting the development of essential life skills.

Caregivers are urged to preserve space for children’s unstructured play, safeguarding their mental, social, and physical health — with ripple effects benefiting the entire family.

Playtime is For Adults, Too

When was the last time you indulged in play or had some fun? Amidst the demands and hustle of daily life, as parents, it’s easy to overlook the value of play — not just for children but also for ourselves.

Prioritizing play as an adult isn’t a luxury; it’s a vital component for a healthy and happy life. Beyond the joy it brings, play offers the same physical and mental benefits for adults as it does for children. It serves as a powerful stress reliever, a wellspring of creativity, and a sustainable foundation for resilience.

In the relentless pursuit of daily responsibilities, don’t forget to set aside time for play — whether diving into a new hobby, playing games, or simply embracing spontaneity. Welcoming fun and laughter not only enriches our lives but also brings moments of joy into our families.

References

Kestly, TA (2014) The Interpersonal Neurobiology of Play: Brain-Building Interventions for Emotional Well-being, Norton.

Nell, ML & Drew, WF (2013) Five Essentials of Meaningful Play, The National Association for the Education of Young Children.

Yogman, M, et.al. (2018) The Power of Play: A Pediatric Role in Enhancing Development in Young Children, The American Academy of Pediatrics, Clinical Report. September 1, 2018.

Elizabeth Sylvester, PhD and Kat Scherer, PhD, MFT, C-IAYT are practicing Psychologists in Austin, Texas. In addition to their clinical work they have spent much of their careers presenting on attachment, interpersonal neurobiology, emotional development, and relationship-based parenting to therapists, teachers, and caregivers. Checkout their website: Relationship-Based Treatment.

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©Copyright 2024 Heart & Work of Parenting

(A version of this post was also published with Psychology Today Blog. Jan 2024)

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