A Better Life Lies That Way

The big problem is taking that first step.

You know the feeling. You’ve received acceptance letters for college and can’t seem to decide where to go. Or you’ve received several job offers each promising a better future, but which one do you choose? Or you’re contemplating a career change but don’t know if the risk is worth it. Or you’ve been stable with someone for quite some time and the moment has come to answer the marriage question.

Decision points are some of the most uncomfortable moments in our lives precisely because of the commitment that they entail.

And in this world of freedom and self-expression and no boundaries, we don’t like commitments. We don’t want to be tied down, to lose our chance to choose. Just like choosing at a fast food restaurant or buying a new phone, one positive choice means a no to so many other possibilities, and unlike Pokemon, we can’t catch them all.

On a deeper level, commitment scares us. What if we make a mistake? What if we say yes to something only to find out ten years down the road that it was the wrong thing to do? What if we miss out on something else? What if a better chance is waiting right around the corner and when we see it it will be too late?

Moreover, what if we want to do something and we commit to it, but somewhere down the line have to give up because we’re not good enough? What if we fail and have to start all over again? If that time ever comes, will there be another opportunity waiting for us?

And if we fail, what will others think? What will our families think? Will we let them down? Will they suffer because of our inability? What kind of an example would we be for our kids if we didn’t achieve our goals? What would it be like to have a parent as a failure?

Better to play it safe. Let’s just wait a little bit and keep our options open. We only have one life to live so let’s make sure we live it right.

But what if the only way to live it right is by taking that risk, taking that step and making that commitment even if it scares us, even if it hurts, even if it requires sacrifice?

What if that’s the only real way to live?

If we keep waiting for that perfect thing which fits us like a glove we might be waiting forever.

“Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality.”

— Abraham Lincoln

Often, when we celebrate someone in public, we do it because they’ve achieved something. Something that made a difference in our lives. Something meaningful.

National heroes, world leaders, sports athletes, heads of companies, innovators, entrepreneurs, parents we look up to, role models in our lives; they are all different, but one thing unites them all. They achieved something meaningful with their lives.

But behind that achievement was a choice. Often one that had been made years ago. A dream, a desire entered their minds and they latched on to it, and they refused to let go.

Maybe, in the beginning, it seemed impossible.

Maybe others laughed at them.

Maybe the temptation of giving up rattled their hearts.

But that didn’t stop them.

They made the decision and committed to something they wanted, something they believed in, and didn’t give up till it became a reality.

But what if they never committed to their dreams? What if they backed out because of the obstacles they had to face?

If people didn’t commit, imagine how different the world would be:

• Cleisthenes: The first democracy wouldn’t have existed.
• Alexander the Great: The history of Greece would be much different.
• Jesus Christ: The biggest religion in the world wouldn’t exist.
• Thomas Jefferson: America’s Declaration of Independence would be quite different.
• Abraham Lincoln: The US might have become the Divided States of America.
• J.R.R. Tolkien: The One Ring would never have been destroyed.
• Mikhail Gorbachev: The USSR might still be here.
• Steve Jobs and Bill gates: No iPhone or Windows 10.
• Mark Zuckerberg: We wouldn’t be so distracted.
• Mom and Dad: You wouldn’t exist.
• And the list goes on…

Bottom line, commitment is what keeps the world going.

But how can we bridge the gap and start making serious commitments? I think it comes down to answering three questions:

1. What do I want?

When we commit, we do it because we want something. Because something out there calls to us, attracts us, and demands our attention, effort, and time. Often, it’s something that just seems to click, which simply just says me. But it must be something which we feel we could be made for. And it’s not just something we want on the surface, but it needs to resonate within our very being. It takes root in our heart and refuses to go away. It lures us with a prize, a dream, and a goal, offering us a way toward happiness.

We take on commitments when we want something more, so much so that we won’t stop at anything to get it. It’s a hunger. It’s a thirst. It’s a need. In order to make a true commitment, we must have this one desired thing clear in our minds. Clear in our hearts.

2. Am I capable of doing this?

This is not the same question as can I do this. When we start out on something, we don’t begin as superstars. You won’t be the perfect husband, writer, or CEO on day one. Since when could athletes break world records on their first try? We can have talents and be naturally good at something, but to be great takes hard work. To achieve dreams requires effort. So just because you can’t do something now doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t commit.

“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”

— Zig Ziglar

The question you should be asking: Knowing myself, with my qualities and defects, being honest with who I am, can I become this person that I dream to be? With my skill set, do I have the potential to carry this out?

This is one of the hardest questions to answer. We can’t foretell the future. And a lot of the times we won’t be sure until we actually take the risk and try.

But what’s important is that we need to honestly believe that we can achieve this dream.

3. Am I willing to do what it takes?

Commitment is tough. Are you willing to work hard and dedicate time even when the going gets tough? Even when everyone laughs at you? Even when you wake up without a single ounce of inspiration or motivation? Even when obstacles surround and seem to suffocate you?

In the darkest hour, will you still be going at it?

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” — Dale Carnegie

One last word. Stay positive.

We often see the negative. We’re so used to being let down that the downsides often, well, bog us down. We get so caught up with the possible mistakes and failures that we forget about the beautiful thing that we want to achieve. We let the darkness of our fears drown out the light of our dreams. We’re afraid and that fear blinds us. But what if we looked up to see the light at the end of the tunnel? What if we kept our gaze fixed on it, believed in it, and moved toward it no matter what the cost?

What if we focused on the goal rather than the obstacles, the reward instead of the pain, the light instead of the darkness?

Instead of the problems, let’s focus on the happiness we can find, the good that our efforts can bring, and the people we can help. We do only have one life to live. What is better, waiting forever for the perfect moment or opportunity to come by or live life actively seeking it? To run away from our fears or to take the chance and run after the joy that awaits beyond them?

Face it, we are going to make mistakes. We will stumble and fall. That’s part of being human.

But we have to start somewhere and keep fighting.

Don’t be afraid of commitment.

Embrace it.

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