Finding Peace in the Passing of My Grandparents
“There are special people in our lives who never leave us, even after they are gone”
Lounging in bed and looking through my old family photo albums, I begin to see familiar faces. I smile slightly at the many photos of my cousins and I before being hit with wave of sadness and nostalgia. Not only do I miss them, but I vehemently miss the placidness, quietude and peace I’d feel whenever I returned home to visit them in the Philippines.
As I turn the pages of my photo album, I couldn’t help but notice a photo of my grandparents at a beach. It must’ve been around 1998 at the time, and despite pushing 80, they looked healthy and alert.
It has now been 16 years since I’ve visited Piddig, a small town located in Northern Philippines known for its exceptionally beautiful terrains consisting of steep hills, vast rice fields, rivers and farmland. Since then, I haven’t seen my grandparents and cousins, many of whom have families of their own now.
My mother would give me updates of my grandparents from time to time. “Grandpa can barely walk and has difficulty breathing. Grandma is wary of covid and just stays inside all the time”.
The last decade of their lives was marred with various health issues. My grandmother experienced a sharp decline in her cognitive abilities, while my grandfather suffered from decreased mobility, difficulty breathing, cancer and a barrage of other ailments.
Despite limited access to medicine, healthcare facilities and modern medical equipment, they kept overcoming whatever ailments came their way. They were absolute warriors and I always admired their resiliency and determination to get better.
As always, old age remains undefeated. In March 2024, my grandfather passed away peacefully. Three weeks later, my grandmother passed. Both were 96.
My mother and several family members flew back to the Philippines to attend the funerals, while I provided short videos messages offering my condolences. Although my grandparents spent their entire lives living in a remote, sparsely populated countryside city, the funerals were attended by hundreds.
And as I watched the funeral live streams, I couldn’t help but notice that many of the attendees looked so dejected and heartbroken. I saw people who weren’t particularly close to my grandparents sobbing uncontrollably.
Eventually the short video tributes of people offering their condolences were played. Many of my cousins thanked our grandparents for their constant unwavering support and endless sacrifices, while friends and neighbours shared the fondest memories they’ve had with them.
Life Lessons…
My grandparents were upbeat, positive role models who touched so many lives (hence the large crowds in their funerals). They offered you food if you were hungry, companionship if you felt lonely, and even emotional support if you felt depressed. If someone had some sort of issue in their life, my grandparents were the first people they’d talk to.
My grandfather in particular, loved his grandchildren. Despite his busy schedule, he always made an effort to spend quality time with us. As children, he would spoil us with treats, take us on walks to a nearby lake, and even let us ride on a sleigh that was being pulled by one of his many carabaos. Those are the earliest memories I have of him, and those experiences are where I learned many life lessons.
My grandfather was an incredibly kind and patient gentleman who never raised his voice and led by example. He stressed the importance of being courteous and to treat others with the same respect and dignity that you would like to be treated.
Above all, he was a hard worker, constantly working 14 hour days on his farm. He showed us that money does not come easy, and that you have to put in the effort to succeed in life. A dream doesn’t become a reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work.
My grandmother was much stricter than my grandfather. She taught us to be tough and resilient, and to never let anyone put us down. It’s okay to fight back; don’t let yourself become a target. In life, you’ll always encounter hardships, but tough times don’t last. Tough times don’t only make you stronger, but you grow from those experiences, she’d preach.
Although my grandparents are no longer with us, I can’t help but feel a sense of peace. People came from far and wide to pay respect and see them one last time. Their deaths brought hundreds together, creating a greater sense of unity and camaraderie in the community.
It’s undeniable that people are more likely to remember and honour you if you had a positive impact on their lives. Those that touched our lives stay in our hearts forever.
