I Asked God To Show Me a Rainbow
The priest asked me what I’d think if I saw a priest and a nun together on a cruise ship.
When I was going through a hard time in my life and regularly attended church services, the priest mentioned during one Sunday sermon that we could ask for anything and God would answer. The priest said, “Ask and you will receive.”
As adulting became difficult, I was driving my car on my way to work and prayed to God. I asked God to show me a rainbow. I laughed and chuckled to myself thinking that I wouldn’t see a rainbow since the weather forecast stated clear and sunny skies. But I felt at the time that if God showed me a rainbow, then I knew God cared about me and my circumstances.
As the day went on, I actually forgot about my request. In the evening, I went shopping with my boyfriend. We parked the car. When I got out, I saw a rainbow. It wasn’t a typical rainbow in the shape of an arc. It was an up and down rainbow. It wasn’t raining and it never rained that day. I was in awe. I started to laugh when I remembered my request to God earlier in the day. My boyfriend saw the rainbow and said, “Oh, there must be moisture in the sky.” I laughed again.
I am always on the hunt for rainbows. My husband and kids know that I love rainbows. Now, it has become a fun activity for us to go and search for rainbows after a storm when the sun is showing itself again. I yell to the kids, “It has stopped raining and the sun is out. Let’s get into the car and go find that rainbow.” They love to join in the fun and search in the sky as I am driving. They become so excited when they finally spot one. It warms my heart.
Rainbows remind me of my connection with God. Throughout the years since my initial request, I have seen so many rainbows that I have lost count. Now I take pictures of rainbows as a gentle reminder that my spiritual journey began long ago and continues to grow. I am still learning and experiencing the spiritual side of me.
My grandmother was old-fashioned and said that we needed to go to church every Sunday. As a child, I did. As an adult in college, I didn’t. When I turned 25, I had a “quarter-life crisis.” This identity crisis hit me after I graduated from college, got a job, and had an apartment of my own. I said to myself, “This is it? This is what life is all about?” I felt like something was missing so I did what most people do: I went into the world to search for myself.
I went back into the church and enjoyed some of my time there. I did not enjoy the people who constantly complained about everything. Nor did I enjoy the complaints made about me to the priest that I was dating someone who was not Christian. Heaven Forbid!
On one occasion, the priest called me and asked questions regarding my relationship with this man who (gasp!) was not Christian. I never divulged too much information. I continued to date Jason and, at the age of 30, went on a free trip to Hawaii with him on his frequent flier miles. I never told the priest that I was going on vacation. But that weekend, I got a phone call from the priest telling me he needed me at church on Sunday to do something or other. I said, “I can’t come because I am going on vacation.” He asked, “Where are you going?” and “Are you going with Jason?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “You should not be going on a vacation with a man that is not a Christian. Let alone a man that is not your husband. You need to cancel this trip.” He told me, “We should pray to God that this trip gets cancelled.”
I let him know that I was not going to pray to God for this trip to get cancelled and made it clear that I very much wanted to go on this trip. But after having a lengthy conversation, I felt completely guilty afterwards. I called my mother and told her the story. My mother said, “For Pete’s Sake, you are 30 years old! Go and live your life! Have a great time in Hawaii!”
Jason and I had a great time in Hawaii and we saw many rainbows. When we got back from Hawaii, I sent an email to the priest and stated that he overstepped his bounds and explained how I felt. He called me and asked me to discuss it further by coming to the church after work.
As we were talking, he said, “People look up to you. You are a leader by being on vestry. But you are not living the Christian example because you are a Christian woman, dating someone who is not Christian and then taking a vacation with a man who is not your husband. How are people supposed to look up to you now?” He gave me an example. He said, “What if you saw a priest and a nun together on a cruise ship? What would you think?”
My response was, “Maybe the priest or the nun has no family left and this is the only person in his or her life. Maybe they are able to support each other in a way that no one else can. Maybe they are best friends and cannot live without each other. You can’t judge them by being on a cruise ship together. You have no idea of their circumstances. And, by the way, God said not to judge people.”
The priest did not like my response. He tried to explain to me that I was not looking at the example the right way. Then he asked if Jason and I had physical relations on this trip.
As I moved ahead in my life with Jason, we got engaged. When I told the priest that we were getting married, he said, “I cannot marry you as it would interfere with my integrity. I would need to get on my knees and pray about this.” I said, “I didn’t ask you to marry us. I am just telling you that we are getting married.”
I found someone else to officiate at our wedding. This incident, among others, caused me to leave the church. I have not looked back.
Jason and I got married on October 27th. This month, we will be celebrate ten years together. My husband stands by my side. He understands the significance that rainbows hold in my life. He continues to support me in my faith. Our family has expanded. Together, we continue to chase rainbows.
