For Now, I am Folding My Hat

My promise to myself is to continue writing. When I return to “Heart. Soul. Pen.” class, I will have much to tell.

I am at a loss of what to write about tonight. Our last night of Heart. Soul. Pen. The one thing that comes to mind is how much I love this group of incredible, strong, yet humble women.

I reached out to Robin, a close childhood friend, feeling completely suffocated over the senseless murders of Ahmaud Arbery and George Floyd coupled with the onslaught of COVID19 deaths in New York and across the country. This has never happened to me before. It felt like a scarf tightly tied around my neck — the beautiful one purchased at Grand Central Station in NYC by a classmate who was encouraged to “go for it” from a friend — slowly getting tighter and tighter.

“I feel so much better since I started taking anxiety meds,” an old friend revealed over lunch one day, encouraging me to join in her self love.

The class, with its ability to channel my fears and anxiety in a positive way, and seeing you ladies has become my self love necklace, the one I carry with me, around my neck, close to my heart, throughout the week, pushing aside the pharmaceuticals my friend recommended.

The circle of empowerment and sisterhood that I have felt sharing our stories reminds me of special times spent in front of the mirror as a young girl admiring my sister, 10 years my senior, getting ready for a date and puckering up to Kat Von D red lipstick.

I am thrilled to say that I am walking lighter, my heart not as heavy, and I am better for having met you all. For now, I am folding my black-and-white-striped hat and putting it away. I am sure that when I return to school in September, and our new normal begins in the world of education, I will have plenty to share. I will keep my eyes and ears open daily to the possibility of new stories. My promise to myself is to continue writing so that, when I return to our Heart. Soul. Pen. class, I will have much to tell.

Thank you, ladies, for helping me through this time. Even if you didn’t know what a positive impact you have had on my life — know it now. It means the world to me. I have so enjoyed my time with all of you — incredible, strong, yet humble women — and I hope to be together again next session.

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