Guns and Cookies

As we wandered around Big 5 trying to see if we needed anything else, we landed in the gun department.

At dawn on Black Friday, we drove to Big 5 to look for new sneakers for my husband. Not sure why I needed to go too because he is a grown human, but he’s a shopping baby. I was up at 5:15 am anyway so it was fine. We were the only customers in the store at 6:10 am because who needs to go to Big 5 that early anyway? Apparently, no one.

Rick quickly found a pair of shoes that fit and were on sale, so it was a win win. As we wandered around the store, trying to see if we needed anything else in Big 5 we landed upon the gun department. Glass cases and pegged walls stocked with guns. Right now, our world feels as rotten as the moldy, drippy, gross avocado in the back of my fridge, but a gun in our house?

“Should we be getting a gun?” Rick asked.

“Gosh I don’t know. What are you thinking?” I said.

“It’s going to get worse in America, especially as the election nears, and we are Jews, and should we get one for our house? To protect ourselves from bad guys?” He said.

“I have no idea,” I said.

We went to the counter to get a closer look. We were still alone in the store, and I was good with that since we were in the gun and ammo department. I’d probably be more freaked out if there were actually other customers there buying guns too.

Were these gun guns or bb guns or pellet guns? They all look the same to me. Very shiny and big, heavy and dangerous. Rick and I discussed the idea a bit more in the aisle between the sport socks and the insulated ski pants.

It wasn’t the first time we’ve talked about getting a gun for home protection. The conversation came up during the unrest in LA a few years ago, and then again because of the uptick in homelessness and crimes in our neighborhood. I love our neighborhood but after the sun sets and before the sun rises, it looks a bit like Zombie Land. Every other time we talked about getting a gun, we put aside the idea. Do we put it aside now?

“Maybe a bb gun would scare off people?” Rick said.

“My brother shot out our den tv with his bb gun when I was a kid. He said it was an accident but who knows. BB guns seem dangerous too,” I said.

“How and why did your crazy brother have a bb gun in your house? What were your parents thinking?” he asked.

“I have no idea,” I said.

My head was swirling with protection needs and risk tolerance and where would we even keep a gun, and on and on. I’m not sure what Rick was thinking but for about 5 minutes I entertained the idea of having a gun in our house for protection.

We decided to ask the professional, a way too young salesclerk working at Big 5 at 6 o’clock in the morning.

“Are bb guns good for self-defense purposes, to stop a bad situation in the house?” We asked.

He said, “No. Definitely not. They don’t stop attackers. What stops the bad guys is pepper spray. That works.”

I lit up with this professional’s advice, even if he was under 20 years old.

Oh! We have pepper spray at home! I knew that. We left Big 5 with new shoes in hand and new thoughts swirling though my mind. Where is all our pepper spray that I think I have? Does it still spray? Would it work if we needed it to?

I have no idea.

We asked our couples therapist about guns. I didn’t actually ask, Rick did, in the middle of our monthly session.

“Are you Jewish?” Rick asks her.

“No”, she said.

I had no idea why he was asking her.

“Do your other clients talk about getting guns now?” He said.

“Actually, they do. And not just the Jewish ones, but people are talking about it,” she said. “My partner has a gun collection of about 50 pieces and he and his buddies were talking about having an additional gun in the house for self-protection. That’s something that they never talked about before.”

She went on to tell us that one needs proper training to shoot a gun, and store a gun, etc. etc. Rick and our therapist discussed at length statistics about accidents involving personal guns. It was a lively discussion that didn’t have anything to do with our marriage.

When we got home from Big 5, I searched my drawers and closets for our pepper spray. I found two canisters in my nightstand, one in my fanny pack, one in the kitchen drawer and one by the front door. I also found one in my car. I am very prepared! I’m a bit surprised I have so many pepper sprays, but I remembered I bought one or two cannisters years ago to protect myself against my mentally ill brother. I also was given one for safety purposes at the school I worked at.

After Black Friday thoughts of gun purchases and pepper spray, I took a mental break. Although I am concerned, I’m not consumed by fear, at least not yet.

In the meantime, I’m reading cookbooks. Lots of them. Baking specifically. I’m currently ogling Bake Your Heart Out. I have reread this book at least 6 times now. The photography is beautiful, and the recipes are mouthwatering. I baked the birthday cake cookies and will tackle the dark chocolate orange bundt cake for an upcoming holiday party. Baking gives me comfort. I love to eat what I make, but I truly enjoy giving away the treats. Baking to me is love and reading recipes makes me happy.

If only the world was filled with rainbow sprinkles and cinnamon crumble instead of fear, hate, anger, desperation, etc. etc. etc. Imagine how sweet it could be.