Writing Fever

In between kids and caffeine, a mom writer returns to writing.

I remember the moment I realized I wanted to be a writer. I was in London working on an H&M commercial. My boss returned home to Copenhagen for his birthday leaving me with 48 hours to explore the city on my own. I went to the British Museum where I hitch-hiked on a walking tour that took me to the British Library. I saw their massive stamp collection, which I knew my grandfather would have loved, and two of the oldest complete manuscripts of the Old Testament, meticulously copied by hand. I visited the National Portrait Gallery and strolled down Notting Hill, coffee in hand.

To wrap up my 48 hours of freedom I went to see Matilda on Broadway and that was it for me. On the walk back to my hotel I stopped in a book store and bought every Roald Dahl book they had. I spent the rest of my free time on that trip reading and outlining the most imaginative writing I had ever read. My inner child came to life.

I remember the years that followed. I took a Writing for Children class at UCLA Extension and joined SCBWI, attending a number of their events and conferences. And then life got busy. I started working on a movie, and then another, and then a TV show. The 14–16 hour days left me with little energy to be creative. Somehow during that time I got married and became a mother of two at which point the 16 hour days turned into 24 hour days.

The only energy I have now is the caffeine boost my coffee provides. Even as I write this it’s 10:30 pm and I’m laying in a dark room with my baby girl at my breast, thankful that I at least managed to change into my pajamas.

Then I remember I never took them off this morning.

I remember the inner child that came to life that night in London. She is still there just below the surface of the thick skin I’ve had to grow. I guess I’ve been waiting for the day I have enough energy to let her out again. Or maybe I’m afraid that if I let her free she’ll turn out to be not such a great writer.

Maybe the idea of being a writer is such a romantic notion that I’m terrified of finding out that I’m not one.

Whatever the case, signing up for HEART. SOUL. PEN. Women’s Writing Workshop is a big step for me. I’m looking forward to the ride.