The White Scarf
Be nice. Be very good. Hen hao.
The white silk scarf lies in an old Bed and Bath zippered mattress protection bag. It has rested there since 2004, hidden away in the back of a closet. I hadn’t opened it until last week and it had a faint smell of Nag Champra. I would like to believe that this familiar essence was from whence the scarf came, but I am quite sure that it is from this rarely-opened closet filled with dozens of boxes of incense and sage.
But I digress. This story is about how a white scarf gently and lovingly came into my life.
When I pay attention, circumstances often seem to appear at the perfect time and in a perfect way. That precious day they did just that.
Jon was the acting public relations person at my university and would gift me with admissions to special events now and then. This time he was assigned to the upcoming visit of the Dalai Lama who would address “Universal Responsibility” and he offered me a prized ticket.
What I wanted to elaborate and write back was, “I do not want to passively sit in my seat. I want to be more intimately involved in this most treasured and sacred event”, but knowing his personality and work style, I left it at , “Thank you Jon. I would prefer to volunteer.” His return email was short and to the point. “Arrive at 7 am, don’t touch the Dalai Lama, don’t speak to the Dalai Lama, and keep your hands in prayer position if he approaches you.” Fair enough.
I arrived just after 6:00 AM as the sun was starting to rise and illuminate the campus. This was always my favorite time, getting to work before the onslaught of faculty, students and responsibilities emerged. The ordinary concrete and brick buildings appeared more grand and important in the early morning light and the quiet was precious. I wanted to literally and figuratively inhale the essence of the day. Every holy instant. And getting there almost an hour earlier than assigned would give me 60 more minutes, an extra 800 breaths to take in this remarkable experience.
Slowly the campus began to awaken. Benches were being set up, armed guards with long guns were having coffee soon to take their places at the tops and sides of the buildings surrounding the arena, and traffic cops were setting out orange parking cones. I felt centered and joyous, ready to join the other like-minded volunteers. I imagined would all hold hands in a large circle and chant “Nam-myoho-renge-kyo before the event began.
Yet no visible signage or presence of any other volunteers.
7 am. Nothing.
7:30 nothing.
At 10 minutes to 8, Jon finally answers his cell.
“Where are you? Where is the volunteer check-in booth?”
“I don’t know how to tell you this, Roni. I dropped the ball and never sent out the request for volunteers. You’re it. You’re the only volunteer”.
“Excuse me, Jon? But…What the fuck?”
So began a most enlightened, spiritual day, except for saying “what the fuck” which I imagine should not be uttered in his presence.
Just me. Just me and his Holiness. Synchronicity at its finest.
Then He arrived. There He was, his Holiness wearing the traditional red and yellow robes with ting-shags bells announcing his arrival. I handed an important-looking typed letter to his representative, as I was instructed to do, that stated who I was and then trailed behind the group. I was stunned when one of the monks who were always by his side, turned around, paused and seemed to introduce me to the 14th Dalai Lama.
He said, “This is the person who will be with you all day long, has read all your books, and knows many of your wise words by heart”, or so I would have liked to believe as he and his entourage only spoke in a Chinese dialect. Whatever it was that was said, the Dalai Lama briefly turned towards me and slightly upturned his mouth in an almost smile. Then he walked up the stairs to enter the arena. He was small in stature and sitting on the huge stage he appeared quite slight and fragile. Just like a regular human being.
For the next hour his words were translated to address karma, fundamental truths, compassion and mediation. The solemn, powerful nature of his words was consistently interrupted by his unexplainable laughter that even the simultaneous translation could not explain. Other times he would sit in silence with us, as if underlining the importance of being silent, of just being.
After a short break, the Dalai Lama responded to questions from the audience that he answered with that childlike giggle and most often with the same two words: “Hen hao”, that was translated as either “be nice” or “be very good.”
“How do we stop war?” Hen hao.
“How do we address racism?” Hen hao.
“How will I reach nirvana?” Hen hao.
I spent the next 4 hours attending the post-presentation events. Escorting him and his entourage to the small private dining room, to the revealing of the Wheel of Life and then to the lush garden rich with wildflowers and perennials planted in his honor. Here would be the ceremonious gifting of the white prayer scarves that he would bless and offer to the president and provost of the university, state dignitaries and selected community activists.
Five and a half hours with this man/child human being. He who giggles constantly, he who says the only living thing to kill is a mosquito (and who, by the way, ate surf and turf for lunch), he who was discovered as a reincarnate at 2 years old, he who travels the world promoting peace, he who laughs and giggles continually, he who says “be nice” to virtually every question asked.
And it was he who stopped on the way to his waiting limousine, turned to me, paused, looked into my eyes, placed his hands on my hands, smiled, bowed and presented me with a blessed white silk scarf, a khata.
That night, I held my khata, breathed another 800 times, and focused on what I received and learned on that day. In spite of the contrast between his deep enlightenments and his lightness of being, or perhaps because of them, I was awakened. Life is an illusion of good and bad, anxious and peaceful, grateful and scorned, empty and full. I accept that we are all the same. Souls having human experiences. Humans just being.
My path, our paths as fellow beings, can be challenging with rocks and boulders perceived to be blocking the way. It seems so complicated yet perhaps it is so simple.
A cherished quote from Dalai Lama that he said on that fateful day went something like this. “Sometimes one creates an impression by saying something, and sometimes one creates as significant of an impression by remaining silent.”
Be nice. Be very good. Hen hao.
