Accepting Yourself for Who You Truly Are
Every day we go through life and demonstrate many generous attributes to the people and places around us. We tend to be kind, generous, helpful, loving, and compassionate to the people around us. But have you ever wondered about showing these attributes to your own self? Yes or no maybe.
If not, maybe this is high time to start treating yourself with compassion and kindness and accept yourself fully as a holistic being worthy of love and compassion. This is the same compassion we are discussing that we so generously give to others.
At this point, you might be wondering what does it mean to accept yourself fully? What does self-acceptance actually mean?
Self-acceptance is acknowledging yourself and loving every part of yourself, the good and the not-so-good parts (maybe the parts you want to work on and improve). It means embracing our true authentic selves and it encompasses all areas of our lives, allowing us to be more open and generous to ourselves.
When thinking about ourselves, we tend to be harsh with ourselves, perhaps because we are unable to achieve our desired expectations ourselves. Every human being is a work in progress.
At no time can we be perfect. We can only achieve perfection by trying to improve daily through gradual increments, that is improving ourselves little by little. During this cycle of continuous improvement, it is important to be kind to yourself and think about yourself in kind words. What does that mean? Let me explain.
For example, suppose you want to get into the habit of waking up early in the morning and going for a run. You set out a routine and tell yourself that this is how you want to spend your morning time. You set an alarm to wake up early. In a week you were able to wake up early thrice but failed to go for a jog on the other 4 days.
Now instead of beating up yourself about it and saying harsh things such as “ I am lazy” or “I can never be an early riser,” you choose to be kind to yourself the same way you show kindness to other people.
You demonstrate kindness by saying encouraging things such as “I am practicing a new habit to rise early” or “I was successful in going for a run three days a week” or “It’s a start and I will continue to improve day by day”.
How you think about yourself matters a lot. As Maya Angelou has put it “The real difficulty is how you think about yourself.”
Unconditional self-acceptance is a quality that you can possess. It allows you to express yourself fully and work on the less desirable and negative parts of yourself. It can only be attained by first accepting our own self, with all the positives and all the flaws.
It takes time and practice and a little daily effort to practice self-acceptance. We will discuss 10 ways through which you can practice self-acceptance in your daily life:
1. Practice saying kind words to yourself
Throughout the day, notice every task you perform. Then appreciate your own self for doing and achieving that task. For example, if you prepare lunch for your kids, try saying kind words to yourself such as “I am a thoughtful mother and I take care of my kids.”
“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” ―Brené Brown
2. Re-frame your negative thoughts
Keep a journal in which you notice and jot down the negative thought that crosses your mind. Then replace that thought with a positive one and try to focus on that.
3. Show gratitude
You can be grateful for many things in your life. You can keep a gratitude journal for all the blessings that you have. This will encourage positive thinking and help you think about what is going right in your life.
4. Acknowledge and celebrate yourself
It is important to celebrate your achievements as it gives a positive outlook to ourselves that we can refer back to. Try to celebrate your achievements instead of focusing on things you were unable to attain. This will focus your mind on all the things you were able to do right and give you encouragement and motivation to do more.
5. Start with daily affirmations
Keep a card and write down daily affirmations on it. These can be simple sentences such as “I am strong”, “I am confident”, or “I am smart”. Create your own set of daily affirmations and say these words out loud to yourself. This will enable you to see yourself in a positive light.
6. Learn to let go
Learn to let go of things that you can’t control. There are a few things in our life that we can control and others we can’t. Focus your attention on what you can control such as your own behavior, thoughts, and actions. This will make you empowered and will manifest great outcomes in your life by concentrating on your locus of control.
7. Forgive yourself
Learn to forgive yourself for your past mistakes and present shortcomings. Remember that nobody is perfect and we all learn as we go through life and experiences.
8. Set goals for yourself
Plan activities that you want to involve yourself in and set goals for yourself. This can be financial freedom or saving money or other goals such as enjoying the simple leisure of life like reading a book or cooking a meal. Do more of what makes you feel alive and keeps you motivated and happy.
9. Take care of yourself
Being kind to yourself also means taking care of your health and overall well-being. Remove yourself from negative situations and instead take care of your mind, body, and soul. Pamper yourself and practice self-love through eating right, sleeping well, and taking steps towards living a healthy lifestyle.
10. Stop judging
Stop judging yourself and others for shortcomings. Instead practice self-love, kindness, and compassion by becoming more accepting. Be open and humble. What attributes you show to yourself will also be reflected in your behavior toward others.
“It’s only when we stop judging ourselves that we can secure a more positive sense of who we are.” — Leon F. Seltzer, Evolution of the Self
