An Appreciation Letter to Imaginary Friends
If there was a part of my childhood that I could revive, I’d choose my imaginary friends.
Growing up, I had a set of imaginary friends whom I talked to regularly. If I’m not mistaken, they started appearing as voices in my head after I woke up from a comatose. When I look back at it, I sometimes get the feeling that I was insane. However, the more that I think about it, in retrospect, they shaped my childhood to be awesome. Imagine being able to talk to entities that you interacted with exclusively. As a writer now, I think of them as characters I made up. Having those imaginary friends was the start of my creative journey and I’m forever thankful for them.
Imaginary Friends are Normal
Imaginary friends or imaginary companions are often believed to be products of a delusional mind. There is some truth in that should the children in question believe that those imaginary friends are real. However, Dr. Marjorie Taylor (2016) said that during their interviews, some children want to clarify that their imaginary friends are just imaginary. And even from my own experience, I never believed that they were real people.
For me, the fact that they weren’t real people was the most exciting part about them. I had a lot of fun interacting with them because while they were my creation, I was not in control of their actions. This may sound weird but Dr. Taylor (2016) also found that not all imaginary friends are compliant among children. Imaginary friends are not limited to invisible people or inanimate objects because imaginary friends are rooted in imagination. Being rooted in imagination means that there are endless possibilities. Some of the best imaginary friends I had were a three-headed ice-breathing dragon who I imagine riding through the air when I’m stressed, a druid who provides me life advice, and Steve from Minecraft.
To further prove the normalcy of imaginary friends, Gleason (2017) found that up to 65% of children have had an imaginary companion before the age of 7. That percentage means A LOT of people. So, if you feel weird about having imaginary friends, don’t be. Talk about them, give them the credit they deserve for being there when you had no one. To me, they will forever be an important piece of my childhood.
Imaginary Friends, Social Skills, and Creativity
Another common misconception about the reason why children develop imaginary friends is that they lack social skills. According to the British Psychological Society (2022), children with imaginary friends were more likely to spend their time with their peers to cultivate friendships. And again, Dr. Taylor (2016) said that children with imaginary friends tend to have superior social understanding because of empathy. And once again adding my personal experience, you can ask any of my friends and ask them just how social I can be. When I’m interested in befriending a person, I believe that I can comfortably approach them and gain their trust after a while. I can jive well with a crowd because I can take the initiative and break the ice so that everyone else will move forward. And what do you know? I had imaginary friends!
As I said earlier, now, imaginary friends to me are like characters that I write. They were the start of my creative journey and apparently, it is not just an instinctive feeling. To quote Klein (1985):
“The paradox of the imaginary companion is appropriate and creative.” — Bruce R. Klein
Dr. Taylor (2016) points out that in several lab tests, children with imaginary friends are considered to produce more creative direction for story prompts. The phenomenon of having an imaginary friend is creative in itself as it is an age-appropriate stress-coping mechanism (Connolly, 1990).
Just think of the endless possibilities of images one could have for an imaginary friend. I do believe that is enough to convince someone that people with imaginary friends are pretty darn creative.
Conclusion
There should be no shame in having imaginary friends nor not having imaginary friends. I believe that more people should shift their perspectives on the concept of imaginary friends as exclusive to ‘crazy’ people. Having them makes you just as normal as everybody else.
I am not ashamed to say that these invisible entities were the reason I didn’t grow up to be a boring and tasteless person. Due to the nature of our relationship, I was able to develop one of the most important traits for a human being, empathy.
Lastly, thanks to them, I unknowingly found my passion through creative writing because they were the first characters I ever made.
References:
Connolly, J.F. (1990). Adults Who Had Imaginary Playmates as Children. In: Kunzendorf, R.G. (eds) Mental Imagery. Springer, Boston, MA. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4899-2623-4_13
Gleason, T.R. (2017). The psychological significance of play with imaginary companions in early childhood. Learn Behav 45, 432–440 (2017). https://doi.org/10.3758/s13420-017-0284-z
Klein, B.R. (1985 September). A child’s imaginary companion: A transitional self. Clin Soc Work J 13, 272–282 (1985). https://doi.org/10.1007/BF00754652
The Brainwaves Video Anthology (2016 Dec 6). Marjorie Taylor -Imaginary Companions and the Children Who Create Them. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vO2A4KAH3EQ
