Reuniting With An Old Friend
Getting over a writing block is hard but worth it
The people who say they’ve been writing for a very long time must have had their blocks. I mean we’re not any AI software with a word-generating speed that is 10 times more than an average person. We need to work through many things to sit and write.
Everyone has their favorite mode of expression. Most people speak, some paint or draw, some sing or play and some write. For me, writing has always been comforting. I feel better after projecting my emotions on the paper in front of me.
I don’t know if it has anything to do with personality types but sharing what’s on your mind through this method seems right. If it is someone’s birthday, write them a letter.
If you have to say sorry to someone, write down your explanation and apologize. If you want to remember some information and keep it with you, note it down. This is why I find it satisfying.
If you ask me why we get writing blocks then I just say that
Writing is simple but life is complicated.
So if you are stuck or cannot write then this isn’t because you’re out of ideas but because your life is being a little too much.
Like many other people, the complications in my writing process started from investing energy in the wrong places.
There should be a limit to prioritizing care for the people important in your life over your mental peace but everybody will overdo it if they’re sincere.
The outcome of this is different from person to person. We often find people who stay with us through thick and thin but sometimes we find people who become a chapter in the story of our life and a lesson forever.
We lose people. It’s a part of life but you are never prepared. Ultimately, it made me a stronger person but it took me a long time to walk out of all this mess.
We all have the ability to easily move on from one difficult situation but when I faced multiple career setbacks in this same period, I lost it. I felt disappointed all the time. I couldn’t work through my thoughts.
I knew I was unproductive, it bothered me but I didn’t feel like doing anything. I didn’t talk much to anybody except a few close people. There was this hole inside me that made me feel like nothing. I wanted to fix it but I had no idea how.
Writing anything felt like the last thing to do because there was either too much on my mind or nothing at all. I feel like every tough lesson of life has a price and you lose a part of yourself in the process.
In my case, it was my comfort in writing my heart out.
I had to get myself out of this situation and I did. It took me a while to clear my head and get that level of comfort I once had.
There was this lingering feeling that I need to say so many things but I cannot. It’s not that I didn’t have anyone to talk to. I just didn’t have the energy to say anything.
It felt like there was a lot to say but suddenly I had lost my sense of talking. It’s weird if you think about it. How can a completely normal person be unable to talk?
This was a difficult time. I faced many failures one after the other which made it worse but many breakdowns later, I got through it in the end.
I had to get myself back on my feet, not only career-wise but mentally too. I started thinking of a possible solution. It began with the realization that
No good comes from giving up after a series of failures.
I had to try again and for that, I had to make myself mentally strong and get better.
Looking back now, I realize this thing about healing that its beginning is the most difficult part because once it starts, it doesn’t stop. You move on.
Though the scars are always there, healing over time perfectly covers them.
How did I start writing?
My mental well-being was in being able to communicate and declutter my thoughts. I remember thinking to myself that the best method for this is writing but how do I do that? What if I suck at it too?
There was self-doubt and low self-esteem because I wanted to avoid any disappointment. I was unsure whether I’m ready or not but I was determined to get myself out of this misery.
I remember how I sat for 2 hours straight in front of a blank page facing right in my face when I decided to write for the first time. It was weird and I couldn’t gather enough energy to express what’s inside me for so long. It was important to take things slow and not put too much pressure on me.
At first, I wrote about random stuff and nothing about myself or my life experiences. I wrote whenever I felt a strong level of emotion. If I felt frustrated, I wrote about it. I had a great time with my friends, I wrote about it.
I didn’t do it every day but I knew I was getting a hold of it. It took me some time to get back on track with my writing routine but eventually, I did.
I started writing regularly and it no longer depended solely on my extreme emotions. This was something I had missed for so long.
I was finally reliving that satisfaction. It was in fragments, but it was making me feel better.
I always write whenever I feel like it. My notepad has become my comfort place now.
The fun fact is that I have known about Medium even before the pandemic but I felt like I didn’t have time to give my best here. But I have decided to go with the flow now and write about anything I like.
The thing I like about Medium is that you have the freedom to write and experiment, and there are no restrictions on it. I like how I can tell a ‘new story’ as I please.
This whole process of reuniting with an old friend made me feel alive and become confident about myself once again. Now when I see it, I feel a lot better and have started to move on at my own pace.
Endnote
Overcoming a block can be a challenging and frustrating experience. I shared my story to tell that it can happen to anyone and it does not reflect on your abilities as a writer.
My only goal now is to keep myself from losing consistency. For this, I set realistic goals to avoid overburdening myself.
Whenever I write, I don’t expect to produce a masterpiece. It gets messy sometimes but at least I’m not blank. It is important to experiment, explore ideas or find inspiration to get that spark of creativity.
The important thing is to realize that overcoming anything like this is not easy and you have to be kind to yourself during this process.
Just don’t give up! You will get through it.
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That’s all for now. Thank you for reading.
