Stop Trading Your Authenticity For Approval
Here’s how
We have all had moments when we had to act, dress and speak a certain way. Comfortable with it or not. People are trying so hard to fit in, that they eventually end up getting lost in the process.
They say that if you don’t stand for anything, you’ll fall for everything.
This advice is common to most of us. But honestly speaking, it’s easier said than done. We might hold our values in high regard, but still struggle each day to put them into practice
I was always the one to give this advice, but I never practiced it. I didn’t know who I was, so other people couldn’t know who I was. You can’t read a closed book. I was living my life for the sake of others and I knew it.
Just like the plants need dirt to grow, I had to get myself muddy. Although, when I finally put this advice into practice I discovered the peace and freedom I was once lacking.
Living our lives in-authentically is missing out on what’s truly meant for us. It is us telling God in the most subtle way ever that we don’t like the way we were made and if given a chance, we would change it. It keeps us out of sync with our entire existence.
That isn’t freedom!
Here’s how to get started;
know yourself:
Knowing yourself is the first step to living authentically. Pay attention to the things that light you up, what you makes you angry and what you hate. Start by enjoying the things that make you, YOU. We all wish we could change about ourselves. We wish we were prettier or funnier... The list never ends.
But what if we spent the majority of our time, thinking about the things we don’t like about ourselves, and started accepting them instead? It doesn’t hurt right, or.....does it??
When we accept ourselves, we no longer need to change ourselves for other people’s acceptance. It all starts with YOU...YOUR ACCEPTANCE!
Use your words:
Be a voice, not an echo. How often do you say something, but think something else? Do you share your truth? When someone asks about your thoughts concerning a topic, do you tell them your opinion or stay quiet. It took me a while to start vocalizing my thoughts.
To be authentic, you must unapologetically be yourself. If someone says something that hurts you, let them know. Unconditional love isn’t unconditional tolerance. Unlearn that!
Take that mask off:
Let people see the real you, bring down every wall you have built around yourself. You are going to stumble, you’re going to mess up. That is OK. If God wanted us to be perfect. He would have made us that way!
Forget about the expectations that people might have of you. If you’re broken, show them. Broken people are not fragile! Trust yourself to stand in the sacred power of your truth, even if it’s scary, or uncomfortable right now. Remember that all situations are temporary, it’s not your circumstances that determine your worth.
Don't Chase People:
Maybe if we stopped chasing people so much, God might give us people we don’t have to chase. If people have to leave, let them. Some people are like rocket boosters, their only job is to help you to a certain altitude, then leave.
Being our authentic selves comes with the risk of losing someone we so badly want in our lives! You can’t eat your cake and have it.
“Don’t Chase People. Be yourself, do your own thing, and work hard. The right people, the ones who belong in your life will come to you. and stay”
Set Boundaries:
This is a tough one. I personally had issues with it. Boundaries are not selfish and they are not shutting people out. Without boundaries, we can’t protect ourselves. They are a form of respect, standards, and the simple wisdom on when and how to reject and accept. Work on your boundaries. You can’t be everything to everyone and nothing to yourself.
When we connect to our authenticity, we finally get to see how many things we have compromised. Boundaries show us where we end, and where others begin. Remember, that when we set boundaries, we give people back their responsibility to manage their own emotions. They were never ours to own anyway.
We are social beings, it’s only right to crave someone’s approval.
However, it's important to remember that you had a purpose before anyone had an opinion.
