Inspiring myself through the female experience
Hi, this is Mirmo!
Very nervous to share my first blog since this is such a personal text, but very excited that people get to read it since this is such a major topic I feel so passionate about. Hoping you can enjoy it as much as I enjoyed (and cried) writing it, leave me your comments or thoughts!
As a young girl growing up, I was taught that remarkable people existed all around the globe and throughout history due to their bravery, passion, talent, resilience, discoveries, commitment and courageous acts or in some cases just their popularity along their personal journeys. These people were called regularly as ‘inspiring’ or ‘role models’ to modern society, individuals worthy of looking up their story. Throughout the several names that were added to this list of geniuses, warriors, scientists, artists and business people through years, I wasn’t really aware of the low number of females that popped once in a while there compared to the everlasting and notorious male presence. According to the American National Women’s History Museum report built in 2017, stated that 89% of historical figures referenced in history books are men, and approximately one woman for every three men mentioned.
I wasn’t really aware of this gap and neither cared too much, since to me all these characters were… Yeah, inspirational and sometimes too, I would find myself admiring their work genuinely and getting all the tickles from inspiration. But it was all as ephemeral as it could get. To me, we were all so different, like out of this planet (at that time the concept of the shared experience of being a woman was not taken into account). There was no one, male or female I could really identify with or feel touched by their stories or achievements.
A few years ago, when 16 or 17 analyzing old thoughts and behaviors, I came to realize that the ladies of my list; with whom I felt pretty alienated back then… All of us had one thing in common in which most of the time surpassed any other differences between us.
Being a woman.
But that was far from being a life changing realization. I would still carry a lot of doubts and prejudices towards other women, about what made them worthy or not of being called ‘empowered’ or ‘woman of the year.’ They had to be delicate when I was not. They had to be polite when I was not, and they had to have male approval which myself could not give. Whenever having flashbacks about those times, instead of blaming me, the world, or even society. Now I hug with all my affection my child and teenager self, for being misogynists too, out of ignorance.
Feminism appeared for the first time in my radar in my 17s but really didn’t start educating myself on it until 19. Becoming a feminist myself wasn’t easy at all, there was lots to learn but mostly lots to unlearn. Unveiling what I had known as the truth broke me a couple of times and made me feel panicked, scared, angry and confused. Fellow feminist friends and collectives welcomed and protected me while grieving. The privilege bubble popped and reality was far more cruel than I would ever imagine. This was the real life changing realization. Now I am able to self call myself an intersectional feminist, and absolutely everything has being worth it. I fell in love with everything others use against us: the female anger, the female bravery, the female vulnerability, the female body, biology, the whole female experience, being a woman and having the opportunity to share this with my mother and all my sisters in this lifetime.
It was and still is overwhelming. I cry from time to time all out of love and impotence, it is funny how I used to struggle all the time finding inspiration and allowing myself to rely on other women’s achievements without feeling the need to doubt them. For that, I’m sorry.
My self-acceptance journey has taught me to be more aware, recognize with more ease and love inspiration through not only me, but as well through my mother, my grand mothers, my aunts, my sisters, my girl friends, and recently my inspiration obsession are my female coworkers. For welcoming me, even though I am the one that has been the longest at our workplace. Thank you, for believing in me when I am the youngest. Thank you for pushing me through your kindness and excellence to keep up the learning, for challenging me, for believing in me, for motivating me through your boldness, for asking my advice, for sharing with me your thoughts, for loving me at the distance, and while I still may not know some of you in person, I feel all of you close and will always look after you since we share the strongest of bonds. The female experience.
Thank you: Karla, Itzel, Ana, Jess, Pily, Susy, Erika, Vivi, Andrea, Belen, Ana Sofia, Arlen, Cynthia and Montse. I admire and hug you all, thank you for being the ones that made me write this.
