“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”

I couldn’t get this idea out my head following the death of my uncle.

At his funeral seeing photos of life in the 1950's, 60's and 70's. Things seemed so idyllic. The cars, the holidays, the fashions. That was their time.

But it’s over for my parents’ generation. They had their chance and now it’s gone. Even the ones who are left, like my dad and my aunt, with their dementia and ailments are just hanging in there — barely able to determine their own lives, let alone impact society at large.

And what of us? Soon too our time will come to an end.

How much time have we got?

You’ll probably live to 79 if you’re a man and 84 if you’re a woman. (At least where I live.) So subtract your age now away from that and see what you have left. OK it could be more, but it could well be less.

And given you may not be in the best of health or get much done for the last five years, you better take another 5 away while you’re there.

In my case the number you get is 21.

What are we going to do with it?

21 years ain’t long. Think about how quickly last year went.

What will you do with the next 21 years?

If you don’t want to think about it you’ll find plenty of distractions — the next public holiday, christmas, easter, valentines day, mother’s day, father’s day, the football, the cricket, the tennis, the world cup, the olympics, the emmys, the oscars, the grammys, games and apps — a never ending supply of things and events to divert attention from the painful, harder challenge of figuring out something more meaningful.

This is the way of the world. I get it. We want to enjoy ourselves and be happy.

But often I wonder is that all there is? To arrive here on earth, use things up and drift through life on a quest to make yourself happy.

As I move into my 50's the imperative to make something of this life seems to be gathering momentum for me, right at the time when others appear to be winding down.

And what of ‘retirement’?

The idea of retiring stirs up challenging images for me.

For most of my youth I remember my dad working long hours and speaking of retirement as the holy grail — when finally everything would come good. In fact he reached his 60's, retired and his world narrowed to the garden and watching tv. With little to do he became irritable and fussy about lots of silly, little domestic things. In his 70's he slipped into dementia and by 80 he was in a home.

Not far behind his generation the baby boomers are heading into their own retirement. Like my dad many are well set up for it. They have their house paid off and enough money in the bank to while away their time — reading the paper, watching tv, seeing the odd film, doing the garden, book club, lunch parties, drinkies with their friends, sojourns off to here and there.

Meanwhile, worringly, I’m also seeing older folks who’ve missed the boat — working in menial jobs at the supermarket and McDonalds. I feel for them and wonder about their lives. How did they get to this? Did they bounce from one thing to another and not have a plan?

Either way it’s going to end — either with a fizzle (like my dad with his dementia) or with something more abrupt (like my mum’s heart attack.)

Retirement? Not for me I’m afraid.

Partly because I too bounced around in careers when I was younger. Partly because I bought my property, not only late in life, but in the post baby boomer era where ‘housing unaffordability’ is the order of the day and even young folks starting out are lumbered with mortgages that’ll last a lifetime.

But there is something bigger than the size of my mortgage. I’ll still be going in old age, more importantly, because I’ve got some things I need to do.

What’s your purpose?

I know it sounds corny and cliched, but I want to do something useful while I’m here.

I don’t want to while away my time. My plan is to work on projects that don’t feel like work. Projects that feel like I’m making a contribution to the world. Projects I like so much I won’t mind doing them til the end — right til I drop off the perch. (And ideally they’ll have the added bonus of paying a few of the bills as I get older.)

My holy grail is to use the little time I have left to leave the place a bit better than I found it, to make my own small mark on the world, and of course stay afloat financially. Together it’s a behemoth of a thing to take on, especially at this late stage, but better late than never.

Our place in the big picture

Amazing how death makes you reflect on life. As I headed off from the funeral I found myself refective, not only of my life and my family, but also of the way things change and move on. Of the different generations and what they’ve achieved.

What happened in the time of my dad and my mum and my uncle? More cars, more freeways, more suburbs, forests of brick boxes. These were the things in front of me as we drove away from the crematorium. The last 80 years has been an era of using more of everything at an ever increasing rate, to the point where the whole planet is starting to creak under the weight.

They did good things too my parents’ generation. I know they did. But as I look around I struggle to think of what. (You’re welcome to remind me.)

So it’s up to us now. What will we do? More of the same? I suspect so. It sure looks like it won’t be any different.

But maybe, just maybe, I can go down having done something, a little, in my own way, about it.

by Phil Stubbs at 21 years*. (You can see my projects via the link.)

* A final thought: next time someone asks you how old you are, use it as a reminder to think about how long you have left.

Credits:

If you recognise the title of this article, it’s because you heard Gandalf giving Frodo this advice in ‘Lord of the Rings’. (Thanks to Mr Tolkien for the quote.)

Thanks also to Dietmar Temps for the pic.