I Hope All Your Dreams Don’t Come True
Sometimes the very thing we want most can be the worst scenario for our lives
I first saw him through the haze of a smoky music venue. His voice drifted from the speakers and his eyes roamed the room, but it felt like he was singing and looking only at me. I felt like we were sharing a special, cosmic, music-fueled moment. He had that special it factor + a guitar and an undeniable charisma that made him irresistible. I just knew we were meant to be. I fell hard into an intense, school-girl crush. Back at home, I laid my head on a pillow, and an intense wave of desire flowed over me. I never wanted anything — or anyone — so bad in my life.
Looking back, this moment in my life was probably my first brush with lust. I was young and my exposure to men remained limited to boys at school, many of whom I grew up with. But him? He was different and new. Exciting. That night, I closed my eyes tightly and prayed, “God, if you’re real… please, please give me one date — just one, with that lead singer.”
Dreams in One Hand, Reality In The Other
Throughout my life I’ve asked, wished, wanted, dreamed, and prayed for several things. I’ve fantasized about being a celebrity, often reciting my award acceptance speech in the mirror (which has happened more times than I care to count). But a cold reality always grounds me. I would be miserable if I were famous. Just seeing the stats on how many people read articles I write gives me anxiety. What would an award speech in front of a crowd do to my self esteem?
As a kid, I wished for a horse. I learned that wasn’t an option, because the first time I rode one, we found out I was allergic to horses. As a teenager, I would fantasize about running away from home, being adopted by cooler and more understanding parents, and getting “discovered” by a talent agent. I wished for dates, proposals, “happily ever after,” and prince charming — who was also wealthy, funny, handsome, successful — to swoop in and “save” me.
I’ve dreamed about being taller, sexier, and having a smaller nose. I’ve wanted one of those great radio-ready voices. I’ve wished I was someone else but always woke up as myself (not all wishes are realistic). I’ve wished for cool friends and a job that invokes jealousy while being liked by everyone at the same time. I’ve dreamed about writing a best-selling novel by age sixteen. Then I dreamed about it again at eighteen. Now it’s years later, and I’m finally writing and still no novel. Yet, for the longest time I ignored the fact I could barely write a paragraph about my day — let alone a novel — suitable for the masses.
In most of these cases, I didn’t get what I wanted, usually because I didn’t put in the work or effort to make it happen. But, even when I got what I asked for, I almost always learned that what I thought I wanted — and what I actually wanted — were two totally different things. What I thought would be good for me often wasn’t in my best interest. The proposal I was waiting for: never came. The relationship I thought would last forever: failed. That sweet job I wanted: I didn’t get. Those losses devastated me. I wasn’t ready to accept — let alone imagine — failure could be for the best. Only through the lens of time, maturity, and experience have I been able to look back and be grateful I didn’t get what I wanted.
A New Perspective + A Dream Date
“You can’t always get what you want” is a truth I’m thankful for. After high school, I had big plans to attend the college of my dreams. After a couple months at the university, I realized it wasn’t the place for me. The ideal environment I imagined didn’t match up with the reality of the experience. Many times in my life, I barely knew what I wanted. I certainly didn’t understand what it would be like if I got it either. Reality has a funny way of setting people straight.
While unfulfilled wishes and dreams are difficult to swallow, what if you framed them with a new perspective? What if your biggest disasters were actually blessings in disguise? The fiancée or significant other who cheated and left you heartbroken saved you from suffering in a marriage with an unfaithful and untrustworthy person. Without failures, mistakes, and unfulfilled wishes we wouldn’t learn, grow or challenge ourselves. We wouldn’t push, fight, or persevere. Without feeling the lows, you won’t know the highs. Not getting what you want can be the catalyst that pushes you to accept, embrace, and come to terms with the present — the now.
As for my band crush, I got my wish. A date. It ended with a kiss and a promise he’d call me again. I left walking on air that evening.
But he didn’t call me for another two years.
Looking back, I also realized God literally gave me what I prayed and asked for — one amazing, unforgettable date. The key word being one.
Be careful what you ask for. You just might get it.
