Life is NOT Like “How I Met Your Mother” After All…

It’s a lot more like getting hit in the face with a gallon of milk accidentally.

Published in

HeartSupport

7 min readNov 14, 2016

Life after graduation is a bit like getting hit by a gallon of milk. All you can really think is, “What the…?!?” Let me explain.

Midway through our final semester of college, my friend Sara and I found ourselves in the self-check out line at the grocery store. I was scanning my items and placing them in bags when Sara closed in behind me and in a panicked tone whispered,

“Meags, hurry. We need to get out of here. I accidentally just smacked a guy in the torso with my milk.”

I’m sure I looked at her in absolute confusion, because the words coming from her mouth made absolutely no sense. But I was finished up anyway, so I paid quickly and we made an exit without looking behind us.

“I don’t know what happened,” she said on the way home. “I went to grab the gallon by the handle and turned, but it swung around way faster than I was expecting. And I also wasn’t expecting him to be standing behind me so close.”

We laughed about it long after, as we did with so many other awkward circumstances Sara somehow managed to find herself in. But now that I am graduated, have a big kid job in a new city trying to fit the pieces of my life together, I can’t help but think back to that moment. I can’t help but feel most days like I’m unexpectedly getting a gallon of milk to the chest, firstly because I didn’t see it coming, and second, because it’s just plain…weird.

Forget what you see on Friends, or How I Met Your Mother, or any lighthearted sitcom about the life of a young professional. I may be past wearing sweatpants to class, testing out the mysterious soup in the cafeteria, and staying up till 4 am to knock out a paper, but I am still a far cry from the glamour oozing from Hollywood portrayals about life in the “real world”.

As it goes with any transitional stage of life, whether from high school to college, minimum wage to a salary, dating to marriage, or college to whatever lies beyond that, there is a gap. On one side is what you know and on the other is what you do not. On one side is what you are good at and on the other is what you still have yet to learn.

I don’t own a blazer, the thought of lipstick is beyond confounding, and despite how many times I have rehearsed it in my head, I cannot tell you word for word what I want to do with my life. On top of the little things that seem so basically difficult to figure out — how to work the copy machine, when to never go grocery shopping during the week, or which coworkers actually like you — there’s also the big things to factor in as well.

In the middle of learning, of feeling like you are in an episode of the Twilight Zone where you no longer have homework, you still have friends who need you, relationships to maintain, an apartment to keep clean, laundry to do, and goals in the wind.

So what do we do when the gallon of milk does come our way? What happens when life swings around and we are planted with new circumstances that are uncharted, bizarre, or just plain terrifying?

Drink the milk.

The phrase, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade…” immediately comes to mind. But when it comes to adjusting, it isn’t just about making the most of a bad situation or a challenging one. We literally have to be flexible enough to see the new ways that life is nourishing us.

We can easily get upset at where we are in life. The glass we are poured seems sour, or too full, or too empty in comparison to others we know or watch from afar.

It’s pretty simple — unless we are willing to give this new life a chance, we are never really going to know how sweet it can be.

I know how it is. You took a job to gain experience and even though it stinks, it’s not permanent. You are in a long-distance relationship, but you hold on to the hope that someday the distance will close. You keep thinking to yourself, I’m just not there yet or I just have to endure this change for a little while.

A while ago, I sat on the couch with my older sister. I told her all of the things I was hoping to become, all the positive differences I wanted to make in this new stage of my life. But a few sentences in, she stopped me cold —

“But what is wrong with who you are now?”

It was startling. I never realized before that a big part of adjusting is being all in for who you are, and where you are, right now.

Whether it is ideal, or not. Whether it is hard, or not. It would be a waste to take something that might end up nourishing us and throw it away because it isn’t what we expected, or even wanted, at the time.

Bottle the milk.

There is nothing more difficult in a time of transition, in life in general, than finding balance.

We commit time to things, we over commit time to things, we sacrifice sleep and mental health, we run ourselves ragged, and we remember to never do that ever again. Until next time.

Even if we are able to adjust to life’s strangest changes, it takes time to manage the details. Gulp down too much in one area, and you suffer. Slurp down too little, and you lose worthwhile opportunities.

How can I be a great friend, blogger, coworker, employee, daughter, sister, stranger, writer, girlfriend, Christian, runner, and artist all at the same time? Truthfully, I probably can’t. I mess up, things get out of balance, and I fall flat on my face.

Sometimes I neglect my friends, sometimes I neglect my art, sometimes I brush my beliefs to the back corner or my responsibilities under the rug. But that is what it is to be a adult, young or old. Juggling, dropping things, trying it again, and eventually making it work.

We balance work and play, passions and convictions, words and silence, time with and time apart.

There will be trial and there will be error in everything that you do. Sometimes when you get handed a very full glass, you may have to down the whole thing in one sitting…and sometimes you may have to save some for later because you know it is unhealthy to continue.

Make yourself a milkshake.

How in the heck did I end up…here? It’s crossed my mind a lot in recent weeks. In 2016 alone, I have gone from Colorado mountains to Iowa rolling hills and corn fields, from classrooms and research papers to cubicles and the logistics of non-profit work.

From very single to Skype dates and plane ticket flights.
From a little running to a marathon.
From success to struggle to drowning to keeping my head above water.

The biggest change the real world has brought, however, is a simple one. I used to think I was in control. Now, I know that I am not.

Where has this year’s roller coaster brought you? Especially low, or high? Through the most grueling chapter so far, or the most monotonous? Maybe, like me, you are still processing how weird it all seems some days. As C.S. Lewis has said,

“Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different?”

Where you are is important. Your friends and family, the balancing of your job and your hobbies and all the little things in between, are important. But so is joy.

Life is going to give you milk. When you let go of how you think things ought to be, when you give yourself room to make ridiculous mistakes and learn from them, and when you drink it all in, you not only use that milk. You make something creamy, something delicious, with where you are in life.

And more than that, you are able to throw in a few extra straws and share that joy with others, too.

So go ahead. Take a deep breath. Let yourself change. Immerse yourself in the “real world”. Make a difference, even if it is small. Go out with the weirdos at the office, try the Zumba class, or choose the harder challenge. Have fun in the chaos.

Make yourself a milkshake — and enjoy it.