#FatherFridays: Drop your phone; pick up your kids.

Over the last few months, I’ve gone through tons of weird medical stuff, quit my job and decided to move to Utah, and basically questioned everything I know about the universe.

It’s been exhilarating.

At the center of all of those existential questions were my son (Jebediah) and my wife (Sallie).

I realized that I don’t do a good job of creating intentional time to regularly play with, engage with, and learn with/from Jebediah. And even when I do, I’m not as present as I need to be. I realized that I’m oftentimes more married to my work and my deVICES (get it?) than I am to Sallie. And I’m tired of that.

It became really clear that Jebediah and Sallie will never love me because I am rich, but because I am rich with my time.

So, I reached out to a bunch of dads and I realized that I’m not alone in feeling this way and that’s why I’m launching #FatherFridays today.

In the US, moms and dads work roughly the same amount of hours, but moms spend twice as much time with their kids.

Stop and think about that for a second… see the inequality? We’re asking our significant others to carry twice as much familial weight on their shoulders AND we’re simultaneously neglecting our children from quality time with their dads. Sounds like a lose-lose situation. It’s even crazier that the time moms spend with their children INCREASES if they are the primary breadwinner in the relationship.

It’s time that we husbands and dads, do a better job. It’s time that we work to reclaim time with our families, for our families. And the best way we can do this is one day at a time.

What is #FatherFridays?

#FatherFridays is a simple pledge to keep us accountable. By taking the pledge we publicly declare that we will:

• Make a weekly commitment to spend more focused time with our kids
• Drop the phone from the time we get home Friday night until the time we put the kids in bed
• Continue to find ways to make our family a priority, even amidst the chaos of life and work
• Strive to better support balance in our significant other’s life

I understand that this campaign is gendered. Ultimately, I want all parents to focus on spending more quality time with their children. Since I’m a dad I relate best to that, hence #FatherFridays.

I’d love to explore creating similar campaigns with more inclusive hashtags. If you have any good ideas, please do contact me.

Why Fridays?

Easy. There’s very little excuse for you to have work on Friday nights and it sets a good precedent for the rest of the weekend. Those days off will have a positive start by you coming home and putting on your dad/spouse hat.

But we can’t succeed at this alone. #FatherFridays needs a community of dads committed to becoming more compassionate and focused on our families.

What do you need to do to take the pledge?

It’s simple. Visit the #FatherFridays site, sign up, and tweet your pledge publicly.

We’ll be working on adding more supportive community features in the coming weeks, and would love for you to share your stories about how you’re spending your #FatherFridays.

I’m no psychologist, but I’m willing to bet this pledge will improve your relationship not just with your kids, but also with your significant other. It’ll create a more balanced home life and I’m willing to bet that will also make you perform better at work during the week.

It’s time to drop our phones and pick up our kids.