Your Local Neighborhood Internet: Or, What I Learned Being Pants-less.
The post you’re about to read is absurd, privileged, and bourgeois. BUT I think it points to something big and beautiful about the internet.
Introduction: Get To Know My Pants
This summer, my wife and I went to Italy. Alitalia lost our luggage and was completely unable to find it (perhaps I’ll blog about that some other time). We decided to embrace the situation and go on one of those Italian shopping sprees that you see in the moving pictures.
We walked into a swanky store and several beautifully dressed people brought scores of outfits for us to try on. Suits, pants, shirts, scarfs, shoes…This was where I first wore the greatest pair of pants I’ve ever owned.
You see, I struggle finding pants because I have short legs, a big ass, no hips, and chiseled calf muscles (srsly). But these pants were perfect.
The Split and My Cry For Help
One day in mid-September, I walked in our house and my wife immediately let out a horrifying shriek:
YOUR PANTS RIPPED!
Not sure what it says about me that I didn’t even notice. There’s a high likelihood that my ass showed at work all day long (Sorry HR, it was unintentional, I swear).
I called the store, emailed, searched for an e-commerce store…no dice. I knew I had one place to turn if I wanted these pants — Community.
I posted on Reddit in r/favors, and tweeted the link.
Nineteen minutes passed…
All I could mutter was:
I couldn’t believe it. I did a quick google search of this benevolent Catholic Traveler. He looked reputable, so I sent him a DM with some photos of the aforementioned pants, where I got them, what size I wear, etc.
He replied that he knew exactly where the store was and would be near there in a day or two. I didn’t want to bother him, but he assured me:
“I’m happy to do it. No hassle…I’ll check the prices and sizes and colors and let you know.”
The Bad, The Good, and the Beautiful
“Went to Ex-J today. Your pants are from the summer line,” said the Catholic Traveler.
My heart sank, but he continued…
“They have [a] similar [style] in a few colors. Some differences… I’ll send some pics and you can let me know if you are still interested.”
He attached a few photos, all of which made me wish I was at EX-J trying on these pants, but this had to suffice. I knew that all I could do was pick a couple colors and trust in Catholic Traveler. He hadn’t let me down to date, so I went with it.
A few days later, he sent me this:
It worked out perfectly. He’d be visiting the US soon, so he’d send from there to save shipping costs and time.
This is me today…one month later…in my new pants…sent to me by an internet stranger that goes by the pseudonym Catholic Traveler…with the birth name Mountain… how epic is that?
And they fit marvelously. Even my beagle agrees.
It’s Not About the Pants
The power of community on the internet is huge. We have this amazing opportunity to hear and share stories — an unprecedented ability to build relationships with people we may never meet in-person.
We can see injustice and IMMEDIATELY strike it down. We can see someone calling out for help and respond in an instant…no matter how silly or serious their request might be.
It could be stopping a suicide, or raising funds for families that can’t pay their rent, or just making someone laugh after a bad day. It could be offering feedback on a new app, or helping someone get a job, or even helping the pants-less. It could be an upvote or a fav, the postmodern equivalent of the subtle nod.
It’s all in front of us. It’s all right here.
And all it really takes is listening.
And that’s what Catholic Traveler taught me by sending me pants in the mail.
