The Problem With Personable VS Personal

© 2015 H.J. Tanner

Personable is a term used within professional settings to provide a blueprint on how to act within reasonable boundaries. You may know this as “friendly” but “not their friend” and if you have come across this and experienced it as more of an uncomfortable barrier then you are not alone. In these times we have plenty of ways to express our “personable” style using less than personable means … (social media I take a bow in your direction)

Have you ever put up boundaries because it was professional but then questioned what you lost in return such as a deeper connection with someone important or an opportunity to boost your career or mindset?

There’s a fine line. I want a group to be relatable, joinable, and welcoming. But I don’t want to be “recruited”, “one of us”, “just a number” or encouraged to do a number of things that do not seem worth the time, effort or money — the three magic elements!

I don’t want to join a cult.

But I am seeking something more than a recruitment drive with a smile. I’ve seen friendship opportunities lost, better connections stilted and obvious growth thwarted at the hands of the overly personable. Personable keeps the group under control and keeps everyone in their place and is not conducive to personal growth or critical thinking of the individual. Don’t get me wrong I understand why it is there and why it can be crucial in terms of abiding by the Law.

But does looking for that extra bit of relatability have to make us continually vulnerable?