Revenge-Dig two Graves

I try to stay possitive and have an out look on like that is sunny more days then not. I have great things in my life, people who love me and a job. And most days I can think on the bright side even when soda spills everywhere or ants infest. But deep within me still lies anger deep anger for those who truly wrong me and ones I love.

When I think of revenge i dont think about physically hurting anyone. I could never do that. But my life has been one mountain fight after another and a lot of those mountains i had to climb were because of a few people. People who destroyed my reputation, credibility, destroyed my living situations, hurt my relationships along with it destroying part of me. And they did it with out a glance or a moments thought.

And the thing is it is still going on. But I am away and have a new life and I focus on that. But There are nights when I cant sleep and i really think about the hurt people cause intentionally and with out care. Someone told me the other day to just forgive them and I told her I just couldnt yet.

These people were sloppy in their interactions with me and I found out information. Bad information that could hurt them in many ways. Secrets that i have hidden away. And once I started realizing that i held these secrets I made a vow never to be a person who destroys anothers life. I would be the better person and not be responsible for hurt.

But latley everytime i hear those rumors and lies that destroyed any chance I had in my families town. That anger boils. Shouldnt there be some sort of justice for people who intentionally lie and destroy someones life. Yeah I know karma right…you get to a point where karma didnt do its job.

I do forgive people,easily in fact. Some have called me too forgiving at times. But I guess there are line and limits that can be reached. And to be honest revenge isnt because I want to hurt someone its to give back what was given to me. They took part of me and they need to see what its like to have your reputations dissolved and people back away from you. To not be the victim anymore but the criminal.

But I calm down. I do. This would still be hurting people and I dont want to be that person. Mostly. Its been said dig two graves when seeking revenge…and Im not ready to dig mine yet.

But i Find it a tad amusing how i somehow hold these secret concern these people. And I mean they are secretes that would destroy lives and relationships. Ive never spoken them and I hope i dont. Its not the way to go but on the other hand its also said nothing tastes sweeter then revenge….im just saying. Dont worry ill stay in line and convince myself that I am being the better person. Somehow.