#5 Troy Altbaum in “Slumdog Millionaire”

“The film equivalent of Usain Bolt’s performance at the Olympics: funny, shocking, spectacularly turbo-charged” — Sukdhev Sandhu, The Daily Telegraph

Fucking g-a-g.

Just like this team, Slumdog Millionaire is overrated and I’m tired of everyone talking about it when there are better options out there.

Trainspotting? 28 Days Later? 127 Hours? The Beach? Danny Boyle is a great, unique director, and this is the one that gets all the excitement?

There are other parallels that can be talked about I’m sure, like this previously garbage team stepping up and possibly hitting the big time like the movie’s main character, but instead I am just going to focus on how overrated both were.

If you look past the idiot script with no plausible characters and the lame cinematography that makes extreme poverty in Bombay’s slums seem like a fun romp, you’re left wondering what all the fuss was about. Likewise if you look at this relatively average-across-the-board roster that is going to need serious performance from Danny Woodhead to even touch the playoffs, you’re left wishing you spent less time reviewing this team than the others it won’t have a chance against.

This isn’t a bad team by any means, and so part of me feels like I’m being undeservedly harsh towards it. But I think it’s time we stop putting this team in the same league as the next 4, because at the end of the day it doesn’t matter how many preseason Oscars it wins if no one wants to actually watch it.