HDL BREAKING NEWS

At the Summit on Saturday, April 8th, we made a critical vote at Galante’s house regarding ratifying new owners into the HDL. We knew the day would come. But did anyone believe it would come this soon just a mere 11 days removed from the yearly winter gathering? It is probably a shock to all as no one expected it, but the commissioners were just given information that will forever change the HDL. Citing personal reasons equivalent to Brady’s refusal to visit the White House, our very own, John Galante is Heinbailing out of the HDL.

One of the few teams that has never made the playoffs, MatthewMarcus LukeJohn is primed to be a team to be sought after. A short list of the assets this team has:

• 1st pick in the division draft (Galante’s team took first place in the consolation bracket)
• A healthy roster of solid players (most of which are unavailable at this time due to “maintenance issues” on ESPN), but players such as Julian Edelman, Alshon Jeffery, Shady McCoy, Russell Wilson, John Brown Zach Ertz (This is surely to be his breakout year), Kelvin Benjamin, and so much more (that was all I was able to pull off of the trade tracker)
• Future draft capital. Sure he doesn’t anything before the 3.12, but he has a 1st rounder again in 2019!

That brings us to the issue at hand. We are in need of a new owner to take over Galante’s team. We began to ask around to see the potential candidates. This is merely speculation at this point, but sources are saying, we should see campaigns and applications from one or all of the following:

• Billy Davis — The Co-Owner Turning Owner. In an attempt to forge his own future, Billy is speculated to put a bid in for Galante’s team. Sources are also speculating that Billy would try to lure his future brother-in-law and 4 for 4 fan, Kyle Phillippi. Kyle is currently an NHL and Phillies reporter as well as working as a site manager for MLB. That could be what he needs for this league to overlook his sell out fandom for the Raiders.
• Ian Crosby — The President of the Anti-BPou Club. We don’t know much else about this Ian fella except that his personal hobbies are congruent to the rest of the league, “Due what you can to piss off BPou”. It is believed that he is an Eagles fan, which can work to his favor after Hallahan almost imploded the league when he brought in two consecutive Cowboys fans.
• Milzy — Nah, he would just :flake:

Of course, there will potentially be more possibilities, but we will need to wait and see.

Let’s see what some around the league are saying:

Falcone — It will be sad to see Galante leave. I have been in an fantasy football league with him since 2004. It will be a sad year.

Calhoun — Eh, Galante is a nice guy and all, but he doesn’t live in Philly. Hopefully we can get someone that not only lives in Philly but is a Philly fan. If we bring in another F*&!ing Cowboys fan, I might go all Aaron Hernandez on this league.

BPou — Wait, I can’t take over his team? Anything is better than the dumpster fire of a team that I own, it is ridiculous that the leadership in this league are not allowing me to make a mess of another team.

Sarlo — I will be sure to update my power rankings accordingly. I think this should easily give me a bump up three more spots. But seriously, we will see what this does to the saber-metrics to the league. It should produce some interesting information.

Hallahan and Scott — :mug: :bicycle: :mug: :bicycle: [insert something here about Balloons, David Johnson, or Galante just not hacking it]

Troy — So, do the 37 trade offers he received yesterday not count? What if he were to accept one of them? What if the league site gets “mysteriously hacked” again like Mike’s team did last year? Asking for a friend.

Dan Marino — Who is Galante? Have I met him? Oh, the place we drafted at last year was his house? Cool dude. He will be missed.

Cleve — Cleve Bryan reporting here. I have known John since HS. Good guy. Dedicated father and friend. He will certainly be missed. Guess my chance of pulling one over on him is long gone. Back to you in the studio, Stan!

Nic Martino — [cricket, cricket]

Back to the decision made at the Summit. According to our HDL by-laws:

RATIFYING NEW OWNERS: In the event there is a need for new ownership for a team, the new owner will be brought in by a league vote. If multiple people want to join, it will go by an elimination (of one owner at a time) vote. A simple majority will be needed for the final vote between the any remaining two prospects. Prospective owners will be required to campaign for their ownership.

With all that said, it’s time for the campaigning to begin. If you or someone you know is interested in joining the HDL and taking over Galante’s team, please contact Dave Hallahan or myself for further information. All campaign material must be in our hand by 8pm on Wednesday, April 26th for consideration. If you or someone you know would like more information on how the HDL is run, please see our League Rules.