HDL Week 11 Power Rankings
Disney+ has launched this week and it’s given us loads of great content for both our children and for us adults as well. It’s a whole new world of streaming and the power ranks will have some familiar looks, but there’s a lot of shaking up that needs to happen as well. Let’s take look…but first let’s check the playoff standings…
UWC WATCH
Boy, it’s tense out here…Things have tightened up all over the place. Troy has a virtual lock on the number one seed and Falcone is very likely to have the second overall seed, though there are some things that could happen. He’ll almost certainly walk away with the division, but a loss over the next three weeks could cost him the division if Hallahan wins out. For his part, Hallahan is less secure in his division title battle leading Chris and Marino by only one game.
But all told, there are 6 teams within two games of each other between Falcone and Hallahan at 7–3; Chris, Marino, and BPou at 6–4; and Billy at 5–3. Billy is also leading all of the 6–4 teams in total points. TO THE POWER RANKS!
DISNEY CHANNEL ORIGINAL MOVIE TIER
12 —ABAUM (3–7), Descendants Franchise
Did you see a bunch of little girls with pink/purple hair on Halloween? Maybe a boy or two with white streaks in his hair? That’s because, like Mike, Descendants is riding a bit of wave at the moment. Having kids dress up as your characters is basically the movie version of the HDL belt. It’s a victory, just one that doesn’t matter. You can use it as evidence that you’re good even if you objectively aren’t.
11 — IAN (2–8), Meet the Deedles
I’m probably one of the only people here who remember this movie. “Surf Wyoming, dude!” That’s a line that’s in my head from my childhood. But the movie was terrible, as I’m sure you could imagine. There was one positive that came out of it though! Paul Walker’s career. With some solid young talent, including a returning Derrius Guice, and a load of 2020 1st round picks I could see Ian’s team taking off with a Varsity Blues like 2020 and maybe even a Fast and Furious like run the next few years. OR maybe Ian is more like the other lead in the move, Steve Van Wormer, who went on to do a bunch of voice over work for video games.
10 — CALHOUN (3–7), Alley Cat Strike
The ceiling for actors to come out of this movie is being on CBS sitcoms. I actually remember how this movie ends, but just like the bands mentioned in the gif the only thing it really has going for it is nostalgia. Just like Calhoun’s team. Remember when OBJ had Eli throwing to him? Those were the days.
9 — HEAD (2–8), Luck of the Irish
Head’s final record doesn’t matter too much to him as he doesn’t have his first round pick, but he does have most of his other picks, so winning doesn’t really help him. So what happens when he scores 220 points? He still loses like the lucky bastard he is.
DISNEY CHANNEL ORIGINAL SHOWS
8 — SARLO (4–6), Even Stevens
Remember the Master of Sarlomonies? Goofy, weird, but endearing? That version of Sarlo is the Even Stevens version of Shia Lebaouf. Now Sarlo is ruining our fun by pointing out fake news stories and reminding us that PT Barnum was a racist opportunist. WE GET IT MAN. YOU’RE A REAL ACTOR AND YOU’RE EDGY! Like Shia, I think Sarlo is just trying to distance himself from a safe, immature version of himself. He’ll settle into his own soon and we’ll all be better for it.
7 — BPOU (6–4), Lizzie McGuire
Lizzie had that like animated self that was like her inner confidence and talked a real good game. That’s Slack BPou. We get to interact with animated Hilary Duff all the time. I also always thought people thought she was better looking than I did. Same applies for BPou only instead of “people” it’s BPou and instead of it being about looks it’s about his team.
6 — CHRIS BLACK (6–4), The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Once forced to live in a hotel suite with Falcone, he’s now free and he just beat Falcone. He’s basically Cole Sprouse to Falcone’s Dylan Sprouse. Sure they both had Friends and Big Daddy, but only one went on to be in Riverdale and Five Feet Apart…and after last week’s shellacking, I think Chris got the part.
5 — MARINO (6–4), DuckTales
This is the best of the original Disney shows. It’s the people’s champ, just like Marino. There’s just something about the show that makes people feel good. Maybe it’s the theme song? Maybe it’s Marino’s unassuming, good-natured personality? Who knows? But it works. We like it. And it’s outscoring everyone but two teams over the past three weeks.
DISNEY CLASSICS
4 — FALCONE (7–3), Alice in Wonderland
That’s three consecutive losses for Falcone. Farther and farther down the rabbit hole he goes. Now that we’re back to division play he should get back on track in the W/L column, but he could be in real trouble come the playoffs. Falcone’s roster is a lot like the cast of characters from Wonderland and like Alice he’ll have to figure out who he can trust and who he can’t.
3 — HALLAHAN (7–3), The Jungle Book
Like Baloo, Hallahan has some ingenuity to his game. The ideal pieces aren’t always available, but he can get by on the bare necessities of life. There are certainly going to be bumps on the road, see a 140 point game against Abaum. But Hallahan should make it out of the regular season with a division title and a shot at another mug.
2 — BILLY (5–3), Peter Pan
Like Peter Pan, Billy refuses to grow up (he’s also no stranger to cultural appropriation). But this lost boy has found his way having the second highest average score over the past three weeks. He’s been flying high and he may just never land. (Thank you, I’ll be here all week).
1 — TROY (9–1), Aladdin
Between Robin Williams as the Genie and Jasmine as the most hormone confusing cartoon character outside of Jessica Rabbit, Aladdin is the best of the Disney Classics. And I think Troy may have found a magic lamp, because it seems like he’s been getting what he needs just about all season long. Has he saved up enough wishes for the playoffs? We’ll soon find out.
