Scott and my nightly FaceTime conversations


I believe you are on the Mount Rushmore of teams to Never Beat Dave Hallahan in the HDL. So you’ve got that going for ya. Your team is still trying to recover from the Brandon Marshall / Demaryius Thomas for John Brown / Jeremy Hill trade. Or maybe it’s was those three firsts and Jay Ajayi I took from you in exchange for 12 games of Alshon Jeffery that has left your team in its current state. You’re basically Brett to my Falcone. Only we’re both more likable. Now that we’ve booted Mealey, you’re the only John and I suggest you take over the Fleece he so proudly wore.

Your team is in a bad place. Coming off a 3–10 season, albeit with a nice showing in the consolation, I can’t tell if you’re built for the present or the future. No depth to speak of beyond QB, where you’ll never be able to start more than one of them. BISHOP SANKEY AND FOZZY WHITAKER ARE ON YOUR ROSTER!!

So as you’re picking your division this year, just remember there’s no way I repeat so you’ll definitely want to add me in the third round. Brett, Abaum, you and myself will make a great division.

S.P.S. (Scott’s Post Script)

Hallahan told me a few days ago that Galante was up next in the Victory Lap series. I’ve been thinking since then about what kind of trash talk I wanted to say about Galante. I’m still thinking today…

The truth is, I don’t have anything mean to say about Galante or his team. Maybe it’s because he’s got a swell personality and never seems to get under anyone’s skin. Or maybe it’s because his team is the opposite of a threat and can’t beat us. Who knows?! Either way, Galante and his team just don’t bother me. Keep doing what you’re doing, my man!

Congrats on winning the consolation tournament though. You’ll be taking the responsibility of making the first pick in the division draft from us. It’s a pretty fun job, but if you like it enough this year perhaps Hallahan and I can just win another Heinbowl so we don’t have to take the privilege from you.