Resources for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

In 1988, President Ronald Reagan proclaimed October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. Later, October 15th became Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It’s a time to honor and support parents experiencing the loss of a child.

“When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan,” Reagan said in 1988. “When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn’t a word to describe them.”

Every year, parents experience the unimaginable tragedy of losing a child to miscarriage, stillbirth, sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS, i.e. unexplained death before 1 year old), and other birth defects. About 1 in 160 births or 24,000 babies are stillborn in the U.S., according to the CDC. Yet miscarriages and stillbirths were shrouded in stigma and silenced for a long time. People didn’t like to talk about it — and many still don’t.

Over time, women have started sharing their stories around miscarriage, such as when Chrissy Teigen tweeted about the loss of her son Jack, spurring an outpouring of support online. While sharing online is not for everyone, it is one way to spread awareness, reduce the stigma, and create a community of support. Here are some tips and resources for grieving parents who have lost an infant, plus tips for loved ones who want to support.

Tips for bereaved parents after the loss of a child

Remember that grief looks different for everyone.

There is no right way to grieve. You may experience a range of emotions. Be gentle with yourself.

Give yourself time to heal.

Though you may go through stages of grief, there is no timeline for grief. Give yourself as much time as you need. While the passage of time may help you learn to live with your grief, the grief itself can stay with you for a long time, and that’s okay.

Seek support.

Remember you’re not alone. Other families have experienced similar losses and there’s comfort and solidarity in finding support. There are support groups (see the links below), or you can speak with your partner, a friend, counselor, or a spiritual director for guidance.

Take care of yourself.

This applies to your emotional and physical health. Don’t forget to eat, sleep, exercise, and get some fresh air. Physical, mental, and emotional health are all intertwined, so nurturing your body can help you feel better.

List of resources for pregnancy or infant loss

• First Candle — aims to support grieving families and reduce the rates of SIDS by supporting research. They provide grief counseling via a 24-hour grief line available at 1–800–221–7437.
• Sisters in Loss — provides resources for Black women, who experience the highest rates of infant mortality in the U.S. Founder Erica M. McAfee says its a space for women to “replace silence with storytelling” when it comes to pregnancy loss, infant loss, and infertility.
• Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood (SUDC) Foundation — provides support, raises awareness and advocates for research on SUDC, i.e. unexplained death in children aged 1 through 18.
• Stillborn and Infant Loss Support (SAILS) — provides resources and support for those who have lost a child. They’ve compiled a list of resources including support groups, books, podcasts, and more.
• Return to Zero: HOPE — supports bereaved parents and health providers with the goal of improving mental health outcomes. They provide resources for parents and family members, including a handy do’s and dont’s list for family and friends who want to support.
• Pregnancy After Loss Support (PALS) — provides support for expecting mothers who lost a child in the past. They aim to help mothers celebrate their current pregnancy “by choosing hope over fear while still nurturing and honoring the grief over the loss of their deceased child.”

Tips for family or friends when supporting bereaved parents

Let them know that they’re not alone and offer support in whatever way you can. Simple gestures or words like “I love you” or “I’m sorry for your loss” can convey your love and support. Don’t underestimate or minimize their grief. Avoid using language like “at least” or “God has a plan” or “Everything happens for a reason.”

Check out the Star Legacy Foundation’s guide on how family and friends can help for a comprehensive list of ways to support your grieving loved one.

How can Alpha help?

Our hearts go out to families dealing with the loss of a child due to stillbirth, miscarriage, or any other cause during pregnancy or infancy. If you’re a grieving parent or know someone who is, we encourage you to explore these resources and seek professional help if needed.

At Alpha, we support women through pregnancy and beyond. If you’re seeking preconception counseling or treatment for postpartum depression, get started today for health care that you can access from the comfort of your home.