Hello Fears
Sep 5, 2016 · 3 min read

By Merindah Differ, 32, Melbourne, Australia

I had always wanted to get a tattoo, ever since I saw a beautiful one of a robin on a branch on a family friends shoulder, BUT I had a very big fear of needles.

I used to come close to passing out every time I went in for a vaccination shot, and literally through a 3yr old tantrum when I went for my first ever draw of blood. (No I didn’t end up having it done.)

When I fell pregnant, I started to get braver, mainly because I had to have blood tests done through out, but I had lie down, close my eyes and look away from the nurse while she did it.
At this time also I revisited the idea of having a tattoo done. I wanted something meaningful to do with becoming a mum.

I had 2 natural drug free births, quiet possibly the most painful thing I had ever endured. But the thought of a bazillion needles stabbing my flesh put me off the idea of going through with it.

However my design for a tattoo continued to evolve.

The husband and I decided to not have anymore kids. Meaning I could go ahead and think about doing things for myself instead of preparing for another little child.
Over this time, every member of my family got a tattoo, my Mum who is almost 60, got her first one last year. And my youngest sister who has 10 of them.

So 4 months ago, I bit the bullet, after much research and questions to my many friends with tattoos, I booked an appointment at a tattoo parlor and put a really big amount of money down for a down payment so I would be less likely to bail on the appointment.
Over the four months I continued to save, and got a nice draw up on what I wanted and I was excited.

Come the day, my hands sweated all the way there, but I wasn’t nervous yet. It wasn’t until I stepped into the parlor that I suddenly started to feel my stomach do back flips. We discussed the finishing touches on what I wanted, and he prepared everything to get started.
My step sister was there for support.

www.inkcouturenyc.com

Everyone I knew told me the same thing. “Think of a sunburn being scratched over and over again” Mentally I was ready for that.
I straddled a chair and it began. I am not going to lie, it hurt. I am pretty sure the pillow I was gripping onto would have died of strangulation if it had been human. My step sister did a great job keeping up conversation.
My back went through different levels of numbness, but by the end, I am pretty sure I was beginning to reach my limit. Lucky for me, at that point he had finished.

The end result was beautiful.

I was not only so damn happy, but so proud I got through it all without having to stop once, or cry, and I didn’t swear or flinch or anything.

The tattooist said I did a very good job.

Anyway, I feel like I can face a needle pretty easily now that I just sat through a billion of them.
I actually have been thinking about future ones now as well.

Submit your story of courage here!

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For more inspiration from Hello Fears, follow the YouTube Channel and Facebook Page. Also, check out Hello Fears’ founder, Michelle Poler

Hello Fears

From the creator of 100 Days Without Fear. Hello Fears’ mission is to inspire the world through stories of courage from everyday people. Submit your story here: https://hellofears.typeform.com/to/Ow6LJN

Hello Fears

Written by

Hey there! It’s Michelle Poler, The Fear Girl, writing on behalf of a community of non-conformists who face their fears to find meaning and inspire others.

Hello Fears

From the creator of 100 Days Without Fear. Hello Fears’ mission is to inspire the world through stories of courage from everyday people. Submit your story here: https://hellofears.typeform.com/to/Ow6LJN

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