Self-sabotage for dummies & millionaires

Malcolm Turnbull has the political judgement of a gnat. What the hell was he thinking?

He should have known, going into the unfolding soap-opera of Barnaby Joyce that nothing he could say would end well for him.

He had one job and that was to say nothing and get on with the job of leading the country. Barnaby had already taken leave from his position as Deputy. Turnbull need only have issued a written statement supporting his decision to stand down while he assessed his options, instead of publicly scolding the leader of a party whose tenuous Coalition the government needs to retain power hangs by a thread.

But no, he had to have the last word. Because that has always worked so well for him in the past.

After declaring open season on Australia’s LGBTIQA community, and justifying the creation of not one, not two, but three positions — that he knew nothing about FYI — but that were created special for the now pregnant lover of the deputy prime minister, Barnaby Joyce on the grounds Vikki Campion was not his wife, Turnbull implemented a puritanical and unenforceable Parliamentary root-ban. To be fair, at least he’s been consistent in making government just small enough to fit into our bedrooms.

The ban somewhat misses the point, in that Joyce’s affair is only a matter of public interest because of his righteous hypocrisy, leading a campaign that forced Australians into a six-week interrogation of the rights of gay people over his concern for the sanctity of marriage and religious freedom, putting their right to marry to a public vote, all the while stepping out on his missus. Frankly, parliamentarians should be allowed to act as immorally as the rest of us, so long as the policies they endorse meet the same standards they hold for themselves.

Now Turnbull is just ruining it for the rest of the public service.

If there is a point to be made at all, it’s this: if you’re going to have an affair, make sure they don’t work for you, and if you’re going to root your side-piece while Parliament is not in sitting, best not charge the taxpayer for 50 nights worth of away-from-home accomodation, along with $16,690 in transport costs.

Also, pay your own rent, and if you insist on living a rent-free lifestyle, do try to make sure it’s not in the home of a wealthy party donor, there’s a good chap…

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