13 Proven Signs a Woman is Into You
Not what you hear from the self-proclaimed dating gurus.
Gentlemen, here’s one thing you should know about women. If they have a crush on you, you’ll know without them having to say it blatantly. It’s not rocket science to figure out if a girl likes you or not. Women are not very subtle when it comes to making it known that they have the hots for a guy. I’m talking from personal experience.
If you must crack your brain trying to figure out if a girl is into you or not, chances are she’s not and you must get the hint and move on with your life.
Since women are traditionally the pursued in relationships, they may not show any of the signs I’m about to discuss to a guy who is not showing any interest in them, even if they like him. They would rather hide their feelings than make the first move and risk being rejected. So, if you are the type of dude who is not going to make the first move and expect the girl you like to pursue you, you might as well donate your manhood to a more deserving masculine man.
None of the signs I’m about to discuss were extracted from the internet. I’ve observed them from my own personal experience with the women I’ve dated and those I didn’t date.
1. She can’t take her eyes off of you
As they say, “eyes are the window to the soul”. Have you ever met someone for the very first time and they just couldn’t stop looking at you? Every chance that they get, you find them glancing at you with a subtle and gentle smile. Human beings love to look at things or people they find appealing.
I once met a girl who couldn’t stop glancing at me after I had approached her and I was instantly smitten by her. She was the most breathtakingly beautiful girl I had ever laid my eyes on at the time. In fact, she looked like a dream come true. Little words were exchanged between us, especially because it was my first time making the first move towards a stranger, but sparks kept on flying as we kept on glancing non-stop at each other.
The way she looked at me was the way you look at someone when they have made quite an impression on you. As I was looking in her eyes, I also felt like I could see her soul and what I saw was pure and beautiful. This was a one-time thing. Nothing ever happened between us because I barely saw her after that day and I made the mistake of not asking for her phone number when I had that one chance.
As for regrets, I never had any because I did make a bold move a year later after we first met in trying to get her attention and possibly get her number, but it all backfired. This was also the day I realized that she was the forbidden fruit I wasn’t allowed to have. It doesn’t matter what I did and what happened exactly. At least I did make a move which is why I never struggled with the “what if’s”. I just wondered what could have been.
I spent so much time wondering what could have been between us but eventually I had to make peace with the fact that nothing was ever gonna happen between us. Sometimes I asked myself if what I felt for her was love or limerence, but I was hooked on the idea of me and her being together and yet, I barely knew her. I was obsessed. Whether it was love or limerence it doesn’t matter, but what I do know for sure is that whatever it was that I felt is something I’ll never forget.
Being in her presence felt like a movie, except that in the movie I resembled the character that didn’t get the girl at the end of the movie. What I felt for that girl is also something that would inspire a songwriter to write songs about and also dangerous because it eventually got in the way of my own happiness and contentment. It felt like I needed her to be happy which was not a very healthy place to be. What was even worse was that I never knew if she ever felt the same way or not. I felt miserable for not having her and had to let her go for my own sake.
She was the first and last girl I had ever chased. I learned my lesson to not chase after women.
What I felt for her was so intense and out of this world it brought up the writer in me that you see today and it inspired the two love letters below. I didn’t write the letters for the girl in question but I wrote them with her in mind. I wrote them on behalf of anyone who has ever grieved the loss of a love they never had, those who loved hard and deeply without their love being reciprocated.
2. She lights up every time she sees you
Whenever you meet a girl that has a crush on you, you’ll notice how her mood changes. She lights up and becomes cheerful because she’s always happy to see you. Nothing can distract her from you when you are around. Her whole attention shifts towards you.
3. She has no problem initiating a chat/conversation with you
For probably a lot of women out there, texting first is still an issue, but for the one that really likes you, this is not an issue at all, unless she’s the one who often initiates a chat with you. This may give her the impression that you are probably not as into her as she is into you.
You don’t want to play games with the girl that likes you by waiting for her to text you first or delay your responses to her texts for no good reason other than trying to play it cool. Just text the girl whenever you find the time or when you are both available to chat, especially if you already know that she’s always open and willing to chat with you. Sometimes you may find that she beats you to it as you are about to text her first. This girl likes you more than her pride and has got no time for childish games. That’s the girl worth your time and attention.
4. She views and replies to almost anything you post on social media
If there is one thing I know for sure about a woman that has an interest in a guy, it is that she will stalk him on social media. I don’t mean this in a weird or creepy kind of way. Think of it this way. If you are genuinely captivated and intrigued by someone and you see yourself dating them, you’ll want to check them out on their socials to see what they are all about; what they like, where and with whom they like to hang out or have fun, hobbies, relationship status, and everything in between.
She may not like and engage with every single one of your social media posts so that she does not come across as a stalker, but she sees every thing that you post and does not miss any of your stories. However, it’s not every woman who does this that is romantically interested in you. Some may just be intrigued by you without wanting to date you, that’s all.
5. She is highly curious about you
Adding to what I just said above, a woman that is into you will not just learn more about you through your socials, but will ask you everything she wants to know about you.
Besides, you can never get the full picture and true essence of who someone really is through social media or in online writing platforms such as this one, Medium. For example, you may have read a lot of my thoughts, beliefs and other personal stuff I’ve revealed on here, but until you spend time with me and experience me in real life, you can never fully know and understand me solely through the words that I write. It’s not like I reveal everything there is to know about me in my writings. Not everything is meant to go online.
Getting back to the girl’s curiosity about a guy she likes. She does not hide her curiosity about you. One of the dead giveaways that she may be into you is if she asks you about your love life. She may ask you about your previous relationships, your relationship status and the type of woman you prefer to date, including your relationship red flags. The intention behind these questions is as clear as day.
She also asks you more personal questions concerning your background, lifestyle, beliefs and values, and everything in between.
6. She opens up to you about her personal life
A woman that really likes you will have no issue opening up to you about her personal life. She’ll want you to know her for who she is, but you’ll have to really want to know her before she can reveal herself to you.
Let’s say, for example, a guy take a woman out on a first date. Between the guy who spends the entire time talking about himself and the guy who expresses genuine interest in getting to know his date and listen attentively to her when she speaks, which guy will she choose? If you thought it’s the second guy, you’d be correct. I’m also attracted to someone with a genuine interest in getting to know me compared to the one who likes to brag about themselves.
Here’s the thing though. When you are still in the talking stage with your crush, you both are likely to present the best versions of yourselves towards each other to make a great impression. The more time you spend together or maybe let’s say the longer you have been dating this person, the more likely you are to discover the things that you dislike about them. I’m talking about the red flags. This is the point where the other person starts revealing their true colours. When you reach this point in a relationship, this can make or break the relationship. Unfortunately in my case, it broke the relationship.
7. She can lose track of time talking to you (emotional connection)
To me, this is the defining moment that tells me exactly where I stand in a girl’s mind and heart. Once a girl starts calling you and talks to you on the phone for hours without running out of things to talk about, especially during night time, just know that she’s into you and it’s only a matter of time before the two of you start dating.
Something about such phone calls feels weirdly intimate, not to mention the hours feel like a minute when you talk to someone you have a mutual crush on. If you are the last voice that a girl wants to hear before she sleeps at night, you’ve already won, brother.
8. She likes being around you all the time
This can also be applicable to friendships. We’ve probably all met someone at some point in our lives whose presence, energy and vibe were attractive and we couldn’t help but become their friend.
The only difference is that you can go a day, two or more without seeing a friend and you’d be completely fine with that, but it’s a different story when it’s someone you have a huge crush on or someone you just started dating. You want to be with them all the time and the distance between you two often feels like torture. That is how it was in my previous long-distance relationship, especially for the lady.
I have been someone’s crush a few times before and in one of those occasions when I was still a college student, I had a girl who used to visit me in my room everyday when I lived in a student residence off campus. Everyone in the building knew that she had the hots for me and shipped us to date which never happened. I kinda liked her too. Well, I was attracted to her more than I liked her, but I never acted on my attraction towards her. I genuinely enjoyed her company and missed her when she was not around.
9. She asks you out or puts herself in a position to be asked out
The same girl I just mentioned above once called me at 06:00 am, asking me out for a cup of coffee. I don’t remember what my response was because I was still asleep but the coffee date didn’t happen. I didn’t reject her though. I just didn’t entertain the idea any further. She clearly liked me. There is no way that a girl who does not have a crush on you would call you at 06:00 am to ask out out on a coffee date.
If a girl likes you and wants to go out with you, she will ask you about your plans for a certain day and make it known that she is available on that day so that you ask her out on a date.
10. She initiates sexting between you guys
This happened to me twice in a row last year. What I realized in both occasions is that sexting with a woman starts after you’ve already built a strong and solid emotional connection with her. A strong emotional connection precedes a strong physical attraction. I’m speaking for those who want to be in a long-term relationship, not one night stands or friends with benefits.
When a woman really wants you and is already emotionally attracted to you, she will reveal a more sexual and freaky side of her through sexting. If you’re lucky, she’ll even send you some hot pictures of herself to entice and tempt you. When this happened to me, I just went with the flow and matched her freak and it worked wonders.
If you’ve already read a few of my previous articles which I wrote this year, specifically this one, you’d know exactly where I now stand when it comes to pre-marital sex. I’m over the stuff that does not glorify God. Not only that, but not having a kid before I’m ready is more important to me than the thrill of having good sex.
Sexting is something I can no longer entertain or encourage in any of my relationships because it often leads to fornication. I’ll no longer be dating someone who will expect sex from me until I marry her. I now prefer a woman with high self-control. I know this is rare to come from a guy, but I can’t help but be different.
As for those who talk about having to test-drive your car before buying it, this is just their excuse to have sex before marriage.
If you’re a guy and you are into this sexting stuff and you already have a woman sexting you, then congrats. You are only left with arranging to meet with her in a private area with a bedroom to seal the deal which I don’t encourage before marriage, of course.
11. She starts planning her future with you in it
If you just started dating someone and she’s already talking about plans to marry you and have your children one day, that is another dead giveaway that she has fallen madly in love with you. In this case though, we’re not talking about a crush but about someone who is already your girlfriend.
A girl who has a crush on you may, for example, bring to your awareness the upcoming events that she may want to attend with you. It could be a concert, sports event or any other event that she knows you’d like to attend and suggests that you go to that event together.
A girl who likes you may also paint a picture of a world in which the two of you are dating to see your reaction. She may do this by mentioning how the people in her life always ask her if the two of you are dating and anything else that they say about what they think whenever they see the two of you together. She may also ask you if there’s people in your life that have asked or said something similar about you guys and how you reacted and responded to that.
12. She spends her money on you
This sign is special because it’s rare to find a woman who spends her own money on a guy, unless she really likes him. The amount spent in this case doesn’t matter, but the fact that a woman spending money from her own pocket to buy you something, regardless of what it is and how much it costs, speaks volumes, especially if she does this on multiple occasions.
13. She gets nervous around you
This one happens to all of us when we have a crush on someone.
I remember last year when I surprise-visited my then girlfriend for the first time on her last night in Pretoria before she flew back home the next day. This was the night we first met as a couple and the second time we had ever met. This was also the night we had our first kiss and boy was she a nervous wreck and adorably shy. She was literally shivering, caught by surprise, could not stop blushing and excited all at the same time. It was so cute. Surprisingly, I wasn’t nervous at all, but I was a complete gentleman towards the lady and gave her warm cuddles to make her feel comfortable with me.
That was the most magical night I had the entire year last year and we didn’t even make love. We spent only two hours and thirty minutes together just gazing at each other’s eyes and souls, conversing, cuddling, hugging and kissing before I had to go back home.
After getting home, I could still feel her sweet, soft, slow, gentle, passionate, and lingering kisses on my lips and the feeling lasted for the whole night. I couldn’t sleep. I had never experienced the kind of warmth, love, passion and intimacy with anyone else before like I did with this woman during that night. Through her, I experienced the rare kind of love you usually see in movies like Meet Joe Black, except that we didn’t get our happy ending. It’s a pity that it didn’t work out between us because what we had was so beautiful at some point, but I have no regrets whatsoever. I sure as hell will never forget her for loving me the way she did, just like she will never forget me for loving her the way I did.
Everything that happened between us happened the way it was supposed to happen and I know for a fact that there is someone much better for me out there, my perfect match. I’m not looking for her right now but I know I’ll meet her when the time is right.
Bonus: She confesses her love for you before you do
I made this one a bonus because it’s not applicable to all women. I think a lot of them out there are still afraid to be the first one to drop the l-bomb to a man that they are falling in love with for different reasons. The one reason I can think of is the assumption that this can chase a guy away. I don’t know if there is any truth to this assumption though.
Personally, I have the highest respect for women who are bold and brave enough to be the first to tell a guy that they love him. I’m not against it at all. If the feeling is mutual, then why should it matter who says it first? I’ve also heard the assumption that the one who does not drop the l-bomb first holds more power in a relationship. I mean, what is that all about? There shouldn’t be any power dynamics in love.
I have had a couple of girls in the past being the first to tell me that they loved me and the feeling was already mutual. The first time this happened was in high school where I had a crush who confessed her love for me online. It also kind of, sort of happened in varsity. I never dated any of those girls not because I didn’t feel the same. Like I said, the feeling was mutual. It just so happened that I wasn’t ready for a relationship at the time but I didn’t have the courage to admit it.
The first time I had someone being the first to drop the l-bomb on me when I was finally ready to be in a relationship turned out to be a catfish. If you want to read more about that, click on the links below.
As for my ex, she was the first woman I ever told that I loved her before she did. This was frightening but also easy because I already knew that she felt the same way, but she kind of turned me down in order to heal first from a heartbreak from a previous break-up. She said she wanted me to date a healed version of her which I thought was fair.
I didn’t take this rejection personally and was completely understanding. During that time she was still healing, we still texted and talked like a couple, even though we weren’t officially dating. A few weeks later, we started dating which was sooner than the time I was willing to give her to focus on her healing. I guess she couldn’t wait any longer.
Gents, my point is if a woman confesses her love for you before you do, just know that she means it.
Conclusion
Gentlemen, now that you know what signs to look for in a woman to figure out if she has a crush on you, which of these signs have you observed from the girl(s) you’ve interacted with, and what happened between you guys? Ladies, if there are any other signs I missed out, drop a comment below.
