5 Signs You Are Ready for Marriage
Relationships are always like a bad weather you don’t know if it will destroy or this shall just pass, only things you can do is be ready for whatever happens.
Marriage is one of the life’s biggest decision and one should only make the decision to marry if they really are ready for it. But the question is, how can one can understand if he is ready to get married?
Here are few things which I have figured out based on my personal experience.
1. You Want to “LIVE” Together.
Now, this is not that simple as you think: you can never be 100% sure about this. Relationships are always changing, like bad weather: you don’t know if it will destroy, or if this shall just pass — the only thing you can do is be ready for whatever happens.
And if the thought of being prepared for whatever happens doesn’t scare you and you still choose to stay together, and you are confident about dealing with such situations, you may be ready to live together for life.
2. You Talk About Money.
Now this is a tricky one, because some people say money and love are separate and money should never impact your relationship.
Well, I strongly disagree with the former but I agree with the latter. It is true that money should never impact your relationship, but finances are integral part of relationship.
It is very important to have financial talks in a relationship. They let out the perspective your partner has about money which will prevent form misunderstanding and future fights. Also, financial discussions help the couple figure out individual preferences about saving and expenditure.
To make my point clear I will give you an example,
Reena is a freelancer and money only comes to her after completion of a project, and hence until the completion of the project, Reena has a pile of expenditures she has planned to do when she gets her payments. So for her, expenditure is planned and savings becomes whatever is left after the expenditure.
Similarly, Rakesh is a employee of an MNC and gets a monthly salary; also, he gets incentives from the company for food or insurance. A part of his necessary expenditure is taken care of by his company, so he always plans to invest or save his salary first and then use the remaining for the things which he wants.
Now, Reena and Rakesh both have different perspectives towards the money earned, so when they have “the discussion about money,” both of them are clear about each others’ preferences and situations.
This is just one example, of course explanation will be different in different situations. What I want to convey through this example is the idea to talk about money.
Also, a clear financial discussion shows trust.
3. You Share Emotions
Now this one is easy, Hush!
You feel low if he feels low, you get happy is he is happy and vice versa. Basically, you both share your emotions easily and dwell in the feelings of each other.
She is happy when you get promoted and parties way harder than you; and he literally lays down beside you eating all your chocolates as if he is also on his period (sometimes it’s just annoying). Basically, you just comfort each other in whatever situations and never leave each other alone in celebration or defeat.
But the cutest thing is when you can’t stand to see your partner cry, and you suddenly enter into shoes of a stand up comedian and don’t stop until your partner laughs his/her heart out. Seeing your partner laugh gives you immense satisfaction (Well, if this is happening to you, you seriously are in love).
4. You Want a Marriage More than Just a Wedding
Well, this may sound cliche, but trust me: if you are more excited about the wedding than your marriage, you should give it one more thought.
Weddings are a celebration, but marriage is an after party: things can be messy, things can be dicey, there can be lot of contemplations and you may regret.
No, I am not scaring you: it is just what it is.
You may be ready for a wedding, but marriage can be a bad hangover and no, aspirin doesn’t solve this one.
You might want to give yourself a deep perspective about marriage, the changes that it will make in your life, the adjustments and compromises, the idea of sharing the room and the house with someone.
I read somewhere that when you are choosing your life partner you are choosing your eating companion for about 2000 meals, your travel buddy, your therapist, and someone whose day you’ll hear about 2000 times and many more things, and that hit hard. This is what a marriage is!
5. You Discuss Marriage with Your Partner.
This is the obvious but the most important one.
You are not just hoping for marriage; you both are discussing marriage. Firstly, it signifies that you both are on the same page, and secondly, it gives you clarity.
Look, when you are marrying someone, you should know his/her thoughts about marriage. That can be only found through conversations.
It is highly recommended to discuss marriage before getting married to your partner. You can get an insight on your partners beliefs on marriage and also some insecurities if he/she has any.
It is not just about understanding: it is equally about listening. When you have discussions about marriage, your partner is not talking to you as your girlfriend or boyfriend. Your partner is talking to you as your husband or wife, and I think getting their view as your husband or wife will give you more clarity.
This is just my summary of indications or a to do list for getting married. It may vary for you, but I think this will help you figure out some of your confusions about marriage.
When I decided to say yes to marriage, I was scared and also excited, it was a mixture of tears of joy and fear.
Being a divorce lawyer myself I have seen many relations break because of slight misunderstandings and ego issues and so I was always paranoid about getting married myself.
But when the question came, I sat back and did some homework about myself and my relationship and found the answers to the above mentioned points. When the answers matched the expectations, I said Yes.
I hope my story motivates and helps you with your questions.
