5 Ways to Make Small Gestures Count in Your Marriage
Listen to your partner and express empathy without offering judgments or solutions.
Elena, 48, and Jason, 52, have been married fifteen years and came to counseling to improve their communication and to stop bickering. Like many couples who I counsel, I asked them both what worked in their marriage and what areas need to be “worked on.”
Elena put it like this, “I know Jason works hard and is a good provider but he doesn’t pay enough attention to me. I think he takes me for granted and I feel lonely.”
Jason responded, “Elena is right. We love each other and have a strong family with our two boys, but we don’t pay enough attention to each other.”
After gathering more information from Elena and Jason, I gave them a homework assignment of each doing a small gesture every day to show love and appreciation for each other. I explained that these are not big things (like giving each other a gift). Instead, I recommended that they do small gestures, like making a cup of coffee, or offering to run an errand.
In fact, many studies speak to the fact that the secret to long-lasting love are small gestures. In his book The All or Nothing Marriage, author and professor…
