6 Tips to Improve Your Long Distance Relationship
Here’s what I learned after being in an LDR for one year.
So you finally found your loved one, but now you have a bigger challenge to overcome. The distance. The physical distance between you two. Miles and miles apart from each other. You fear that you won’t be able to handle it.
Worry not. Whether you found your life partner online or circumstances have forced you two to live apart for the time being — I’ve been through it all (12 months+ and counting) and will share my tips on how you can make it easier for yourself and your partner.
1. You both need to agree to put in a lot of effort
First thing’s first. Let me be very clear and upfront about this. Every relationship requires a tremendous effort, but in an LDR that effort has to be 10x more. The earlier you both realize this the better. It will be a rocky ride, and that’s okay. Just be conscious of the fact that you both are getting into something that will require a lot more time, persistence and tolerance than any other relationship you’ve ever been in.
Unless you both agree to really go out of your way to work on this LDR, it won’t go anywhere.
2. Communicate often, and do it clearly
Being transparent is the key to any good communication. But when in an LDR, good communication won’t cut it. You have to be excellent at it. How? Do it often. The more you communicate, the better at sync you both will be. Remember, you and your partner are not there in-person. You will naturally miss out on a lot of verbal and facial cues. You need to avoid the potential miscommunication that can result from this.
Please don’t expect that the other person will find out if you’re sad or angry about something. If there’s something bothering you, just tell them. Plain and simple. If you don’t, then you run the risk of small things that will keep adding up until one of you reaches a boiling point and then: BOOM!
Avoid that. If there’s something you need clarity on, ask for it. Don’t. Assume. Things.
3. Find a favorite activity to do together
Okay so this one’s my favorite, because it offers something different for both of you (other than texting or calling each other all day). Thanks to the digital world, there are some fun activities you both can do together.
My favorite is watching Netflix together. There are plenty of Chrome extensions that can let you do that and it’s actually a pretty smooth experience. There are also mobile games that you two can play together, or fun quizzes designed for couples that will let you find out more about each other.
4. Send random gifts to each other
And not just on special occasions. Send some flowers. Chocolates. Even a handwritten letter. Doesn’t have to be anything fancy.
Send it when they are least expecting it. I assure you, it will make a ton of difference in your LDR.
5. Don’t skip the daily video calls
Goes without saying. Even if it’s for 5 minutes. Don’t skip your daily calls. Always try to do it on video. Invest in a good camera/internet connection if needed. It will be worth it.
6. Have a timeline to close the gap
Last but not least, have a rough timeline to close the gap. You don’t want to be stuck in an LDR forever, and sooner or later one of you will have to take the plunge. Things can get tricky. Have a plan in mind after mutual discussions. Be flexible about it, but do plan it to the best your ability.
