A Harvard Study Reveals the Secret to Being Likable
It’s not being polite, helpful, or having a good sense of humor.
It might be an inconvenient truth, but being likable is something we all (deep down) crave.
That’s because it makes life easier.
If you think that people are born charming, you’re mistaken — likability can be learned and honed, just like any other skill.
But what is it that makes a person likable?
According to this Harvard study, described in an HBR article, the secret to being more likable and improving interpersonal bonding isn’t being polite, helpful, or having a good sense of humor.
It’s asking more questions.
We all want to feel someone is interested in us.
The research examined the role of asking questions in interpersonal relationships.
Harvard colleagues scrutinized thousands of natural conversations among participants who were getting to know each other, either in online chats or on in-person speed dates.
The researchers told some people to ask at least nine questions within 15 minutes and the rest to ask no more than four within 15 minutes.
