A survivor’s tale
From victim, to survivor, to hero.
Introduction
Suffering is an inherent part of the human experience, it’s inevitable. And we will all suffer in some way or another sooner or later in our lives. Accepting this fact allows us to respond appropriately and focus on our responses, as that’s all we can control, our responses. Not everyone is a good or even decent person. People lie, cheat, steal, harm others to bring themselves up without knowing what their full of isn’t healthy. Take their problems out on their romantic partners, children. And there is very little to nothing we can do to directly control these actions as this is external.
From victim to survivor
At the age of 14 I was sexually, and physically assaulted by my surrogate father on two separate occasions. The first assault was a forced submission into a position that allowed him to strike my buttocks with a hard object. Afterwards I faced a dichotomy, put him behind bars effectively ruining his life, or rectifying it on my own. Miraculously I chose the second. I understood that he was misguided, blinded by frustration, and after learning about his background I had even more compassion for the man. I decided to compassionately forgive, a prominent sign of strength. And never let it happen again. It was vile, humiliating, and emasculating to be sexually assaulted in such a way especially by someone who claimed to love you, but ultimately, I had faith in the man’s betterment, growth, and saw this as a silly mistake on his part. That could also be used to test my true inner strength.
The second altercation took a more upfront approach. Unarmed, without a phone in my pocket, and without martial arts skills at the time, I was once again assaulted but only physically. This time, although the man has only ever assaulted me one time before that, I took a stand and refused to let this persist. I fought back against a man three times my size and made banter on how what he did to my younger siblings when out of my presence was unruly, and wrong during the altercation. I vowed to stand up for them, and prevent further harm for them and I.
I walked away uninjured, unscathed, and faced the same dichotomy, put him behind bars or forgive. This time I chose neither, it is of my belief everyone deserves a second chance. I rectified the situation with my family, preventing any more attacks on me or my siblings for good; and made him aware of the repercussions of his actions that could’ve took place if I hadn’t been magnanimous, forgiving, and held grudges. And made it clear even after that, if somehow another attack takes place, I will not hesitate to seek legal repercussions for his actions.
As survivors we often blame ourselves for the actions of others, but we must remember their actions have nothing to do with us and say nothing about you but everything about them. It isn’t our fault, and we can’t be held liable for the actions of others. Those who harm us, first harm themselves with such an intent, it absolutely sucks to be the aggressor, hurt people hurt people. Only the strong survive. Only the strong can forgive and stride towards healing.
But only the brave and benevolent can stand up for others, risk your welfare for the welfare of others. Be a hero. Put yourself in the center of the battlefield for your nation, army, team during war.
From survivor to hero
Beyond my personal experience of defending those close to me. I’ve made a stand to always jeopardize my personal welfare and safety for those of others. I’ve dedicated most of my earnings to organizations and non-profits that truly go out of their way to rid the most prominent social & economic issues in today’s society. I’ve spoken to bureaucrats on passing new laws that strengthen the rights of all citizens and increases punishments for offenders. And advocating for many other causes, some taking effect. All my merch sales on bonfire are going towards domestic violence shelters that hone and heal survivors of all types of cases from that margin. Among other philanthropic endeavors that adversity led me to. Without those experiences, the theater principle may not have existed, as those experiences drew me closer and closer to philosophy to get a grip on human psychology and ask the deeper questions surrounding our existence and nature most don’t dare to ask.
If I wasn’t sexually assaulted that day, and things didn’t happen precisely in the way they happened- me choosing the second option rather than locking him up; I wouldn’t be where I am today. There would be no medium presence, philosophy, major philanthropy, or articles. I knew I made the right decision additionally when it was safe and sound in the end, he apologized for his actions, and amends were generally made.
Aside from contributions to society, the personal growth I got from such adverse experiences was substantial. It gave me the playing ground to practice stoicism, learn the true strength behind forgiveness, compassion, and perspective. It opened my eyes to the possibility that, that’s a reality for people every day which led to stronger philanthropy and my magnum opus in philosophy. Adversity is truly an opportunity for growth and enlightenment we mustn’t forget. If you’ve gone through anything traumatic or equally distressing, just know you’re not alone, it isn’t your fault, and this is your opportunity to beautifully paint your canvas from the palette you’ve been given. You too can go from victim, to survivor, to hero.
Thanks for reading
