Alone is Not as Lonely as Being Someone’s Secret
Being casual is fine — until it’s not anymore.
I never had to be a partner’s first priority. As an adult and single mother, I understand that adults often have to prioritize things other than romantic relationships. Self-care should be first, and children should be a primary consideration. Jobs also have to take precedence at times. It’s how we sustain ourselves in the world. I didn’t need to be the first person on a lover’s list, but I also didn’t want to be the best-kept secret either.
At times in my life, I didn’t mind being the casual lover.
I haven’t always wanted to be center-stage, and after having my heart broken many times, I’ve been reluctant to enter a relationship that could break it again. It’s been easier to keep my entanglements superficial, making it easy to cut and run.
If only I were the cutting and running type.
Because, of course, I’m the type who doesn’t do superficial anything. My casual energy is someone else’s girlfriend energy. I can’t connect without care and some level of attachment. While this isn’t a bad thing, it certainly can be a challenging combination of factors for casual relationships. Because there will come a point when I just don’t want to be someone’s…
