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Are You the Child of Divorce?
Did it make you work harder to save your marriage?
I’m the child of divorce. I’ll answer my own question. Yes. I worked harder to save my marriage because I was a child of divorce. I didn’t want to repeat history.
I met my husband while in college.
He repeated a concern his mother had.
“My mom’s worried that you’re from divorced parents,” he said.
I was shocked. My shock was followed by outrage, and not because she was judging me for being from divorced parents. But because of her own family of origin.
“You’re kidding, right?” I said. “Your mother is from two parents who haven’t been together in years. Is she raising the red flag about me? Why? Because my parents ultimately got a piece of paper saying they were divorced instead of simply living apart?”
My then-boyfriend looked confused.
“Look,” I said. “Your mother’s parents may have never officially divorced but they were estranged, and their story is worse than my parents story.”
It was my indoctrination into the judgment of divorce.
I’d never experienced it before.
On the contrary, people praised my mom. She was ahead of her time. She gave us an…
