Can a Long-Distance Relationship Last?

My relationship is a grand example love at a distance can work.

Photo courtesy The Atlantic

Yes, it definitely can!

But it requires a lot of extra work from both partners. With that said, I’m currently in a 16-month long-distance relationship with my Filipina girlfriend. We’ve never met in person yet, as we met on Facebook.

Since the pandemic began, we’ve been trying to meet. Originally, we had plans to meet for the first time in the Philippines. I even had a flight booked for April 2020, but with country restrictions in place, it became impossible and I had to cancel my trip.

And with the pandemic, the world changed. It became an acceptable social norm to video chat on Zoom, Facebook Messenger and other video conferencing services with your friends, family and lovers.

Luckily, my girlfriend and I had already been video chatting quite a bit—every day for hours and hours. But staying connected through video has only strengthened our relationship. We even have plans to get married.

From my personal experience, here are a few things that will make a long-distance relationship a long-lasting one.

1. Give your partner space when they need it

Don’t push them to do something they don’t want to do or talk with you when he/she is not in the mood.

2. Trust your partner

Don’t let jealousy ruin the relationship. This is the fastest way to end a LDR—short for long-distance relationship.

3. Embrace little rituals

This can be as simple as wishing each other a goodnight before going to sleep. Or doing the same activity or hobby together while on video.

4. Go on dates

Yes, you can still go on a date, even on video chat. Pick a place to eat, preferably the same restaurant or same type of food. Enjoy a meal together, even if there is a distance between you both.

If you can master these four things, then your LDR has a better chance at lasting a lifetime.

Closing Thoughts

I wrote the above content back in March, originally on Quora. Since that time, my girlfriend has become my wife. We eventually were able to meet in beautiful Costa Rica, where we got married on Manuel Antonio Beach.

The author and his wife playing in the ocean after marrying in Costa Rica. Photo by Fabian Murillo.

You can read more about my relationship with my wife before we got married by checking out my Substack newsletter archives @ Postcards From Afar.