“Dates Feel More Like Job Interviews”
Dates feel more like job interviews. Much more like ‘What can you do for me and where is this going?”
The ‘getting to know you’ period is gone and that doesn’t feel so great after coming out of isolation.
The way dating is currently just makes me want to hook up locally with no stress or strings attached.
This was Ian Breslow’s response when asked by the New York Post as to why he’s still single in their article Young Men Reveal Why So Many of Them Are Single.
Breslow is a 28-year-old high school teacher who was left unmotivated to look for serious relationships, so he only settled for casual flings.
As a dating consultant, this matter isn’t new to me. His reason is one of the most common explanations for staying single that I’ve heard from the single men I’ve worked with.
And he’s right about this — dates nowadays feel more like job interviews. In fact, my good friend Joshua can attest to that.
Joshua is one of those men who no longer want to date because it has become too difficult and exhausting.
The majority of the women he had met had taken the fun out of dating by bombarding him with questions about everything about him.
What’s wrong with asking questions?
As a woman who wants to avoid stranger danger, asking questions of my date is pretty normal for me. I want to do some background checking to ensure that I’m not walking into a trap.
But I also understand Joshua’s plight. Dates are supposed to be about attraction and connection, not like an interview that puts someone off.
So where should you draw the line?
I want to share with you why I didn’t hesitate to go on not just a first but multiple dates with someone I met years ago.
It’s because I felt at ease with my date. We still asked each other questions, but it never got to the point where we felt like we were interrogating each other.
We focused more on putting the right amount of effort and ease to build our connection, rather than pressuring ourselves and asking endless questions.
Although we didn’t end up together, he is one of the few people I was glad to meet and hang out with.
Don’t overdo it.
The key to this is to let your conversation flow naturally and beautifully. Don’t let your date revolve around asking questions.
Talk about something that interests or excites you, and trust me, she’ll also likely do the same.
In short, leave room for chemistry and romance.
